Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2014 15:42:51 GMT -6
Inside a Chinese buffet somewhere in Missouri is where we find Yugo Phailous. He's sitting at a table with a cup of noodles in front of him. He's using his chopsticks and he's shoving the noodles into his pie hole and that is what people call eating. A waitress walks over and brings Yugo the bill and his fortune cookie.
"hoooo the fortune cookie. Wonder it says?" Yugo says as he puts his chop sticks down and unwraps his fortune cookie. He breaks open the cookie and pulls the little piece of paper out from the cookie and unfolds it and reads it.
"Fight for it. You will come out on the top."
Yugo smiles and puts the fortune down in front of him and picks up his chopsticks.
"Hell yeah! Who ever wrote that right there....knew it was going to land in the lap of Yugo Phailous as soon as he arrived in Missouri ready for his first fight in MSW! That is not dumb luck right there. That is the stars and moon being all aligned in peace and harmony where everything will fall in line and Yugo Phailous.....gets his first win in the MSW!"
Yugo slaps the table and shakes his head as he is sporting a huge smile.
"I knew it would go down like this. I just knew it. A couple of weeks ago we were driving this gaggle of walking beef slabs to the death shed in Kansas when I decided to change careers are become a professional wrestler. I was laying under a big old oak tree looking up at the stars when this shooting star shot over me. Now you know what you have to do when you see a shooting star. I could have wished for a lovely night with Amia Miley dancing the night away."
Yugo cups the one side of his mouth with his hand.
"The horizontal dance if you know what I mean.
Yugo smirks
"I could have wished to have Sasha Gray read me a book."
Yugo leans forwards.
"Naked!"
Yugo winks.
"Or I could have wished to have Bill Gates money and then I could do what Ted Turner is doing. Buying all of the land from Atlanta to Denver so he can ride a horse from one house to another but then I remember, I get paid to do that and I also get paid to baby sit a bunch of prime grade a, soon to be ground chuck and pressed into patties and where you can buy them off of the dollar menu at Mickey D's. So I wished for the one thing that I know the powers that be will grant me.
And that's to win my first match! By godly this right here is proof that Yugo Phailous is on his way to taking over the MSW and being the number 1 guy in the company. This little tournament to see who will become the first ever MSW champion is all for not because that title."
Yugo nods.
"Will be mine before who ever wins that title breaks that title in."
Yugo picks up his chop sticks again.
"So to Jason Hunt, Chad Vargas let me first say that I am sorry. Sorry that after our match April 9th you two will both be looking for work else where, like Wendy's or Burger King. Or better yet, you two can gut cattle for a living. I know of a slaughter house in Kansas you two can go work at. I know the owners. I'll put a good word in for you two. I'm also sorry for any broken bones, loss of teeth that will accour when you two hot air bags step through those ropes and face off against me, Yugo Phailous. The meanest, baddest, toughest Texan you two have ever laid your eyes on. Also fellers, I don't know you two very well but I'm also sorry if you two have a girlfriend or wives and as soon as our match is over with, they dump you two wind bags and hook up with me, Yugo Phailous. Provoyeur of death, Master romancer to millions of ladies and your future MSW Champion. Don't worry I will treat them like the lovely ladies that they are."
Yugo cups the side of his mouth again.
"Like dirty whores."
Yugo can't help but smirk.
"But the one thing I won't be sorry for is the butt whoppin' I'm going to be dishing out to you two! No sir me Bob I won't ever be sorry about that! I have never been in a fight I couldn't win and I see what the MSW is doing right off the bat. They heard how much a bad ass I am. They heard the stories from every little Cowtown in Texas on how you better tread lightly when Yugo Phailous walks through that bar door. I don't fool around."
Yugo leans forwards again.
"Except with your sister."
Yugo slaps the top of the table again.
"I'm all business! I don't horse around, you want to throw down you better not hesitate because I'm not even going to blink twice before you find yourself picking your dead carcass off of the bar floor."
Yugo nods.
"I could kill you out there just so you know Jason Hunt and Chad Vargas. I'm just that dangerous. Lethal. Fatal for you. In fact you two better take out a high dollar life insurance policy and just leave me as the beneficiary. That is about the only hope you two have, that I don't kill you. Which is going to be hard for me. I hate to admit that but this...."
Yugo shrugs and reaches for his hat.
"match will torment me for a while if I do indeed snap and revert to my old way of shoot first and ask questions latter. I will try.....I can't make any promises but I will try to restrain myself from killing you two like a wild hog. It won't be easy because I am Yugo...Phailous."
Yugo stands up and puts his hat on and touches the tip of it with his hand.
"And I'm out for blood."
Fade out
