Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2014 23:33:21 GMT -6
(OOC: Hey, guy who plays St. Tuck, just so you know, I won't be able to post again after today, as I'll be busy all the way up to me leaving for vacation Tuesday morning. Feel free to role-play as much as you'd like, of course, but this will have to be it for me. Sorry!)
SINGLES MATCH - First Round
SINGLES MATCH - First Round
Johnny B. Vs St. Tuck (w/ Pornstar Ron)
Johnny St. Tuck and Johnny B.... this match should be amusement to say the least. St. Tuck made his debut in light of David Langford having torn his ACL and answered Frank Washington's open challenge. Despite a distraction from Garland and company, St. Tuck pulled out an impressive victory over the ring vet. Bonecrusher made his advance and wasn't shy of being at Unstoppable. Pornstar Ron appears to have taken St. Tuck under his wing but will it be enough to take on the unorthodox Johnny B.?
Okay, so, Johnny B., reviled veteran of the sport, joins fledgling company MSW. In his first match, he's thrown into a tournament qualifier, of which he wins, and is promptly rewarded with not being able to wrestle on the next show (he'll of course ignore the fact that went for everyone else who was in the first wave of qualifying matches as well). He makes his presence felt at the next show anyway, further cementing his friendship with Robert Fields. At Unstoppable V... well... that hasn't happened yet, now has it, f***os?
Our scene begins today in the inside of a banquet hall currently being used to put on an indy wrestling show that isn't MSW but is wrestling in the state of Missouri. This entire scene is being filmed via someone's moderately high-quality smart phone. The banter between the filmer and his friends is so forgettable I can't be bothered to type it out. Just know that they might not be too bright, they might be a slight intoxicated, but they are truly wrestling fans. So why not give MSW some props you drunk bumpkins!!
Anyway, a match between "The Epic Kid" Zane Dunston and Japan's own Hell Ripper is under way, when all of a sudden, there's a commotion in the crowd. Fans are going wild for it, and it's soon revealed that it's none other than Johnny B. wading his way through an appreciative crowd! Where are these fans when he's trying to dole out autographs, I ask you?
Eventually, Dunston and Ripper notice the intrusion, but they're smart enough to get the hell out of dodge, so they break kayfabe like the new millenium wrestler f***s they are and agree to continue the fight once this nuisance has left the building. It's good they left the ring when they did, because Johnny's finally made his way to the ringside area and beyond the barricades - because this promotion's clearly too cheap to hire competent security if any at all - and he's begun to toss chairs into the ring. When he gets to about eight, he rolls into the ring and pauses because that made him feel a bit dizzy, which in turn pissed him off, and he starts booting all but one chair out of the ring.
He unfolds the solitary chair, and the fans have gone into a berserker frenzy of adoration and offerings of their first-born children to JBC, even though some of them are in their 30's by now. Johnny raises his hands in the air, beckoning the fans to cheer harder, because he's clearly forgotten he wants to be a Heel.
The ring announcer carefully enters the ring to hand Johnny a mic, which incites him to mild irritation, as he didn't ask for a mic. But, seeing as he's got one now, he may as well shoo the announcer away and make use of this time productively.
Johnny B.: "Yeah, that's right, I invaded a - hold up, wait, lemme get my patented catch phrase out of the way first of all: lemme make one thing perfectly clear!"
The fans go ballistic, murdering each other in entranced ecstasy. Johnny just shakes his head.
Johnny B.: "..........Okay then! Well, you're probably all wondering what The Johnny's doing in this non-MSW wrestling promotion, huh? It's a f***ing travesty! You hear me? A tra-ve-sty! The MSW higher-uppers think this is some sorta joke?, messing with me! Putting me in a match with, with..."
The fans await what he's to say next with bated breath. They're on the edges of their rusty seats.
Johnny B.: "A-another Johnny! Say whaaaat! Another man, who has the complete and utter audacity to, to steal my name! I f***ing cock damn ass shit f*** hate that!!! I will kill him for transgressing against me on such a personal and spiritual level! I've said it more than once during my - oh, did I mention I've been wrestling for 15 years now? - illustrious career! Johnny Whosits? Dead! Johnny Whatsits? Dead! Johnny Muldoon? Dead! Johnny Canuck? Dea- oh, don't you know who 'Loverboy' Johnny Canuck is? For real, he's a wrestler from my home town of... New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada! Anyway, all the same, dead, dead, all of them dead!!!"
The fans are amused at how irrationally angry Johnny's getting at such a minor issue, especially since it's such a common name.
Johnny B.: "I don't got tiiiime for other Johnny's; hell, that Johnny Hardcore hasn't been seen for a while: I wonder what happened to him! Here's a hint, St. Tuck: the same thing that's gonna happen to you at Unstoppable Vee! Not only am I fighting to continue on in this tournament to crown the first-ever MSW Champion, not only am I fighting for all the Crushinators or whatever you call yourselves out there, but I'm also fighting to ensure that at the end of the night, there's going to only be one Johnny wrestling in MSW! One! Not two! Wuh-f***ing-un!"
The fans begin to leave the arena to buy tickets to the next MSW show, but Johnny stops them.
Johnny B.: "Uh, no? I'm not done talking yet! Besides, don't you wanna see Baldy Pete fight Hardcore Japanese still? Support indy wrestling, you monkeys!
Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. And don't think your new pal Pornstar Ron's gonna faze me either, St. F- okay, that's played out by now, isn't it? Aw, f*** it, St. F***, the only thing men named Pornstar Ron can teach you is to say things like, 'O-okay, just don't get it in my eye...', shit like that, and you know what I'm talkin' about, right ladies?"
The feminists in the crowd begin to boo, so Johnny's got to go into damage control mode.
Johnny B.: "Don't worry, I'll contribute money to the feminist charity of your choice, just see me after the show.
But for real, Pornstar Ron might train you to last longer, just not in the ring. He might teach you to hold off until it's needed, again, just not in the ring. He might even have some pills to help you down there, li'l buck, but again, don't even think of putting me in the position to find out! No, all Pornstache Ron's gonna do is try to trip me up with a fleshlight or splash me in the eyes with that numbing lubricant shit, but the first time I see him looking in my general direction and licking his lips, I'm gonna beat you till you can't breath and get the f*** outta there while Ronnie's distracted with the flood of EMTs coming - and I use this word as it was intended - to save your man. Because no tournament is worth losing my dignity over. F*** face."
And with that, Johnny gets up out of his seat, and after several failed attempts to boot said chair out of the ring, he finally succeeds, and begins to leave from whence he came, with mic still in tow. He leaves the hall with some parting words.
Johnny B.: "But I'm still gonna win! I'm Johnny B., and I approve this message!"
The fans cheer Johnny, as he leaves the hall. Meanwhile, Dunston and Ripper try to get the fans' attentions back by laying some out with one of the many steel chairs strewn about ringside.
What in the Tuck?!
Okay, so, Johnny B., reviled veteran of the sport, joins fledgling company MSW. In his first match, he's thrown into a tournament qualifier, of which he wins, and is promptly rewarded with not being able to wrestle on the next show (he'll of course ignore the fact that went for everyone else who was in the first wave of qualifying matches as well). He makes his presence felt at the next show anyway, further cementing his friendship with Robert Fields. At Unstoppable V... well... that hasn't happened yet, now has it, f***os?
Our scene begins today in the inside of a banquet hall currently being used to put on an indy wrestling show that isn't MSW but is wrestling in the state of Missouri. This entire scene is being filmed via someone's moderately high-quality smart phone. The banter between the filmer and his friends is so forgettable I can't be bothered to type it out. Just know that they might not be too bright, they might be a slight intoxicated, but they are truly wrestling fans. So why not give MSW some props you drunk bumpkins!!
Anyway, a match between "The Epic Kid" Zane Dunston and Japan's own Hell Ripper is under way, when all of a sudden, there's a commotion in the crowd. Fans are going wild for it, and it's soon revealed that it's none other than Johnny B. wading his way through an appreciative crowd! Where are these fans when he's trying to dole out autographs, I ask you?
Eventually, Dunston and Ripper notice the intrusion, but they're smart enough to get the hell out of dodge, so they break kayfabe like the new millenium wrestler f***s they are and agree to continue the fight once this nuisance has left the building. It's good they left the ring when they did, because Johnny's finally made his way to the ringside area and beyond the barricades - because this promotion's clearly too cheap to hire competent security if any at all - and he's begun to toss chairs into the ring. When he gets to about eight, he rolls into the ring and pauses because that made him feel a bit dizzy, which in turn pissed him off, and he starts booting all but one chair out of the ring.
He unfolds the solitary chair, and the fans have gone into a berserker frenzy of adoration and offerings of their first-born children to JBC, even though some of them are in their 30's by now. Johnny raises his hands in the air, beckoning the fans to cheer harder, because he's clearly forgotten he wants to be a Heel.
The ring announcer carefully enters the ring to hand Johnny a mic, which incites him to mild irritation, as he didn't ask for a mic. But, seeing as he's got one now, he may as well shoo the announcer away and make use of this time productively.
Johnny B.: "Yeah, that's right, I invaded a - hold up, wait, lemme get my patented catch phrase out of the way first of all: lemme make one thing perfectly clear!"
The fans go ballistic, murdering each other in entranced ecstasy. Johnny just shakes his head.
Johnny B.: "..........Okay then! Well, you're probably all wondering what The Johnny's doing in this non-MSW wrestling promotion, huh? It's a f***ing travesty! You hear me? A tra-ve-sty! The MSW higher-uppers think this is some sorta joke?, messing with me! Putting me in a match with, with..."
The fans await what he's to say next with bated breath. They're on the edges of their rusty seats.
Johnny B.: "A-another Johnny! Say whaaaat! Another man, who has the complete and utter audacity to, to steal my name! I f***ing cock damn ass shit f*** hate that!!! I will kill him for transgressing against me on such a personal and spiritual level! I've said it more than once during my - oh, did I mention I've been wrestling for 15 years now? - illustrious career! Johnny Whosits? Dead! Johnny Whatsits? Dead! Johnny Muldoon? Dead! Johnny Canuck? Dea- oh, don't you know who 'Loverboy' Johnny Canuck is? For real, he's a wrestler from my home town of... New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada! Anyway, all the same, dead, dead, all of them dead!!!"
The fans are amused at how irrationally angry Johnny's getting at such a minor issue, especially since it's such a common name.
Johnny B.: "I don't got tiiiime for other Johnny's; hell, that Johnny Hardcore hasn't been seen for a while: I wonder what happened to him! Here's a hint, St. Tuck: the same thing that's gonna happen to you at Unstoppable Vee! Not only am I fighting to continue on in this tournament to crown the first-ever MSW Champion, not only am I fighting for all the Crushinators or whatever you call yourselves out there, but I'm also fighting to ensure that at the end of the night, there's going to only be one Johnny wrestling in MSW! One! Not two! Wuh-f***ing-un!"
The fans begin to leave the arena to buy tickets to the next MSW show, but Johnny stops them.
Johnny B.: "Uh, no? I'm not done talking yet! Besides, don't you wanna see Baldy Pete fight Hardcore Japanese still? Support indy wrestling, you monkeys!
Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. And don't think your new pal Pornstar Ron's gonna faze me either, St. F- okay, that's played out by now, isn't it? Aw, f*** it, St. F***, the only thing men named Pornstar Ron can teach you is to say things like, 'O-okay, just don't get it in my eye...', shit like that, and you know what I'm talkin' about, right ladies?"
The feminists in the crowd begin to boo, so Johnny's got to go into damage control mode.
Johnny B.: "Don't worry, I'll contribute money to the feminist charity of your choice, just see me after the show.
But for real, Pornstar Ron might train you to last longer, just not in the ring. He might teach you to hold off until it's needed, again, just not in the ring. He might even have some pills to help you down there, li'l buck, but again, don't even think of putting me in the position to find out! No, all Pornstache Ron's gonna do is try to trip me up with a fleshlight or splash me in the eyes with that numbing lubricant shit, but the first time I see him looking in my general direction and licking his lips, I'm gonna beat you till you can't breath and get the f*** outta there while Ronnie's distracted with the flood of EMTs coming - and I use this word as it was intended - to save your man. Because no tournament is worth losing my dignity over. F*** face."
And with that, Johnny gets up out of his seat, and after several failed attempts to boot said chair out of the ring, he finally succeeds, and begins to leave from whence he came, with mic still in tow. He leaves the hall with some parting words.
Johnny B.: "But I'm still gonna win! I'm Johnny B., and I approve this message!"
The fans cheer Johnny, as he leaves the hall. Meanwhile, Dunston and Ripper try to get the fans' attentions back by laying some out with one of the many steel chairs strewn about ringside.
END.