Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2014 15:35:29 GMT -6
The sound of cowboy boots slowly walking along a wooden floor is heard along with the clanging sound of spurs attacked to those boots stop at the front door of a small and quite bar somewhere in Missouri. The doors swing open and standing in the door way is...
Yugo Phailous!
Yugo takes two steps into the bar wearing black jeans, black tank top and his black cowboy hat. The doors shut behind him and Yugo scans the bar which has like, 2 people in it.
"Any of you bums from Tennessee?"
Everyone is looking at Yugo like he has nine eyes or something. No one says anything.
"Are any of you bar stool statues related to that foul mouth bastard Vargas?"
Yugo scans the room again. No answers.
"Good because if you were....."
Yugo he reaches in his front pocket and pulls out a bar of soap.
"I'd be pinning you down on the floor and force feeding you this. Forget Obit, That wanna be cowboy Vargas need a good old fashion mouth washing for all the F bombs he dropped. If you're the picture of what you think good old boys from the south are like? Racists foul mouth arrogant horses's ass...."
Yugo tosses the soap on the floor and reaches in his back pocket and slips on a pair of leather gloves.
"Then the time for joking around, the time for cracking on your wife, your girlfriend is over with. See Chad if there is one thing I hate it's guys like you. You take one look at me and think this is just a act. Well partner. This is no act. I've never been to Hong Kong. Never been to China or Japan. I was born and raised right here in Texas! I don't eat fish, I eat red meat, bloody raw with potatoes. In fact I'm not surprised that you're from Tennessee. I should have known that's where you hail from even before you starting flapping those gums of yours."
Everyone is just watching Yugo going on and on wondering what in the world is wrong with him.
"Have you ever looked at the map Chad and wonder, just why in the world is the state of Tennessee so flat? It should be in the box like states of south west. It's a rectangle. Not good enough to be a square. Not interesting enough to have curves. It's flat."
Yugo motions with his hand that the state is as flat as a piece of paper Yugo pauses for a second.
"And that's how you will be Chad when the bell rings and I am declared the winner. Flat on your back. You see Yugo doesn't care if it's a dark match, the mid card or the main event. When Yugo Phailous steps in that ring he's there to put on a clinic. You don't see me crying about not being on TV. I'm not some fancy pants prima donna afraid to chip a nail in a good old fashion fight. You see Chad, that is what is coming down the road for you. This is your destiny. A date with Yugo Phailous! A straight up, no BS! A F bomb brawl! A brawl for it all! Better stop by the good will store, kiss your sister and your wife good night and by a extra package of napkins to soak up all of the blood you'll be losing because I told you I was out for blood. Come hell or high water, Yugo Phailous will be victorious for I come down the trail, making a b line straight for you Chad for I am Yugo Phailous....."
Yugo touches the tip of his hat.
"And death follows me."
Fade out.
