Post by Michael Smart on Apr 20, 2014 13:28:57 GMT -6
”Hold on, let me put you on speaker...”
Daniel Smart is backstage, fresh off his triple threat victory. Still dressed in his gear, sweaty and breathing heavily, Daniel lays his phone on a table. He takes a few steps back, takes a deep breath and turns to face the camera.
”OK, go.”
A voice off the phone, belonging to a friend of Daniel's, starts talking in a mock-official voice.
”Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tyler Jones and I'm here tonight with none other than Daniel Smart! Daniel, after a hard-fought victory earlier tonight, you still have to wrestle another match! How do you feel about your upcoming bout with Johnny B.?”
Daniel puts on a smile.
”I'm glad you asked, Tyler! I'd be lying if I said I was at a hundred percent after my match, but I'm not here to make excuses. Johnny had to go through a match of his own, so this won't be easy for either of us. I'm going to give everything I have tonight, let's have a good clean fight, may the best man win yadda yadda. Now that the formalities are out of the way, it's time to get into the real matter at hand.”
”And what would that be, Mr. Smart?”
”An apt question as always, Tyler. As you know, I spent a lot of time researching my opponents before tonight. I spent hours stuck in front of an iPad, scouring the deepest, darkest corners of the internet for every shred of information I could find. Hell, it went further than that. I had to do things I'm not proud of, deal with people I thought I'd never deal with! I had to sell my soul to the devil for my research!”
”Wikipedia banned you for constantly editing your own page, that doesn't make them the devil.”
”Shut up, Tyler. I cited my own blog, that's proof that “some people” think I'm the sexiest man alive. The point is, I found out a lot about Johnny B.. Prior to my research, I will admit to underestimating him. Some bald goofball with a Lemmy mustache, I thought. I guess you can't judge a book by its cover, because this guy has a long history in the wrestling business! A fifteen-year veteran, he's done it all. Not just as a wrestler, but as a referee, manager, promoter... Bonecrusher has experience from every aspect of the game.”
”You, on the other hand, have only wrestled three matches after years as a manager. That must make you the underdog in the eyes of many, Mr. Smart.”
Daniel's smile fades. Furrowing his brow and scratching his chin, he spends a moment in thought before responding.
”Does that make me the underdog? I'm sure a lot of people think I can't beat Johnny B.. Just like a lot of people thought I couldn't beat Robert Garland. Just like they thought I couldn't beat Jackal, just like they thought I couldn't win the triple threat. If there's anything I've been doing all tournament, it's proving the doubters wrong. I'm in this company to turn skeptics into believers, to turn haters into adoring fans. I'm going to beat Bonecrusher... and I know exactly how to do that.”
”How, Mr. Smart? What is your gameplan?”
A devious smile spreads across Daniel's face.
”Mind games.”
There is a brief pause.
”Mind games?”
Daniel nods.
”Exactly. Bonecrusher has the experience advantage in this match. He knows all the tricks in the book, so I have to think outside the book. Or box. I have to come up with something brand new to trick him. You know how people are past the age of thirty. Stuck in their ways, confused and afraid of anything new. Once I get him groggy, I can kick his ass all the way to the retirement home.”
”What is this brand new thing you're planning on doing, Mr. Smart?”
”If I told you, it would defeat the point. It has to be something he doesn't see coming. Perhaps I will climb the turnbuckle, only to climb back down and put him in a headlock. What do you call that? Mind games. What if I irish whip him to the ropes, then get into a running contest with him? Mind games! What if I set up a Knee-DS, charge him at full speed... then poke him in the eye and roll him up? Mind games! What if I bring a steel chair into the ring and pretend to him him with it, but hit myself instead? Mind games!”
There is another moment of silence. Tyler's voice eventually pops up, sounding puzzled.
”That certainly sounds like a unique plan, Mr. Smart.”
”But what if that's not my plan? Maybe I'm planning to be bog-standard. Poor Johnny will spend all match waiting for something completely out there, only for it to never come. He will expect the unexpected, so the expected will catch him off guard!”
”But now that you've said it, won't he expect that?”
”If he expects that, he'll get the unexpected. You see, like bean dip or pumpkin pie, my mind works on multiple layers. Just when you think you've seen it all, there's a whole new layer underneath. As an example, take the name of my finishing move. Yes, it is a knee and my initials are DS. Some may think that's all there is to the move, but wait, there's more! The name is also a reference to a beloved game console of mine... the 3DS!”
Daniel turns to his right, where his gym bag has been laying all this time. Daniel reaches into his bag and pulls out a silver 3DS handheld console.
”This 3DS is how I handle the flights from here to Chicago and back. If I didn't have this console, I would be bored to tears! I would have to spend hours on my phone playing Candy Crush Saga or 2048! The very thought makes me shudder! This console means a lot to me, but this tournament means even more than that. There's nothing I'm not willing to put on the line to win this match. Even my beloved 3DS...”
”Wait, that's my 3DS! What are you planning?”
”I'm going to prove my resolve. I'll sever my ties with something that has brought me hours of joy so I can prove I deserve eternal glory! 3DS... prepare to meet the Knee-DS!”
Daniel raises the 3DS high above his head. Tyler belts out a high-pitched scream.
”No! STOP!”
Daniel swings the 3DS down at his knee, lifting his knee up to strike it...
Then stops.
”I'm not actually gonna break it.”
”What? Then why would you...”
”MIND GAMES!”
”...”
After putting the 3DS next to his phone on the table, Daniel turns back to the camera again, a confident expression on his face.
”Johnny B., you have to ask yourself: If I can almost break my friend's 3DS, what can I do almost do to you? Think about that. Or don't. Or don't, then realize that that might be what you want. Or realize that you realizing that might be what I want. Layers upon layers of mind games, an endless web of deceit. That's what you face when you face me. Or is it? I guess you'll find out.
A moment goes by in awkward silence as Daniel keeps staring at the camera.
”Tyler.”
”Huh? Oh, right.”
Tyler loudly clears his throat.
”You sound as confident as ever and will surely defeat Johnny B. later tonight. Is there anything else you want to say?”
Baring his whitened teeth, Daniel flashes a self-assured smile.
”Johnny B., tonight you're about to go one one on with the smart one. You'll face the best of the best, and go down like all the rest. I'm going to kick your Canuck butt for good luck and beat your ass pronto from here to Toronto. I hope you shut your mouth and know your place, because later tonight...”
Daniel grabs the camera and sticks his face on it.
”I'll Knee-DS your face!”
Daniel Smart is backstage, fresh off his triple threat victory. Still dressed in his gear, sweaty and breathing heavily, Daniel lays his phone on a table. He takes a few steps back, takes a deep breath and turns to face the camera.
”OK, go.”
A voice off the phone, belonging to a friend of Daniel's, starts talking in a mock-official voice.
”Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tyler Jones and I'm here tonight with none other than Daniel Smart! Daniel, after a hard-fought victory earlier tonight, you still have to wrestle another match! How do you feel about your upcoming bout with Johnny B.?”
Daniel puts on a smile.
”I'm glad you asked, Tyler! I'd be lying if I said I was at a hundred percent after my match, but I'm not here to make excuses. Johnny had to go through a match of his own, so this won't be easy for either of us. I'm going to give everything I have tonight, let's have a good clean fight, may the best man win yadda yadda. Now that the formalities are out of the way, it's time to get into the real matter at hand.”
”And what would that be, Mr. Smart?”
”An apt question as always, Tyler. As you know, I spent a lot of time researching my opponents before tonight. I spent hours stuck in front of an iPad, scouring the deepest, darkest corners of the internet for every shred of information I could find. Hell, it went further than that. I had to do things I'm not proud of, deal with people I thought I'd never deal with! I had to sell my soul to the devil for my research!”
”Wikipedia banned you for constantly editing your own page, that doesn't make them the devil.”
”Shut up, Tyler. I cited my own blog, that's proof that “some people” think I'm the sexiest man alive. The point is, I found out a lot about Johnny B.. Prior to my research, I will admit to underestimating him. Some bald goofball with a Lemmy mustache, I thought. I guess you can't judge a book by its cover, because this guy has a long history in the wrestling business! A fifteen-year veteran, he's done it all. Not just as a wrestler, but as a referee, manager, promoter... Bonecrusher has experience from every aspect of the game.”
”You, on the other hand, have only wrestled three matches after years as a manager. That must make you the underdog in the eyes of many, Mr. Smart.”
Daniel's smile fades. Furrowing his brow and scratching his chin, he spends a moment in thought before responding.
”Does that make me the underdog? I'm sure a lot of people think I can't beat Johnny B.. Just like a lot of people thought I couldn't beat Robert Garland. Just like they thought I couldn't beat Jackal, just like they thought I couldn't win the triple threat. If there's anything I've been doing all tournament, it's proving the doubters wrong. I'm in this company to turn skeptics into believers, to turn haters into adoring fans. I'm going to beat Bonecrusher... and I know exactly how to do that.”
”How, Mr. Smart? What is your gameplan?”
A devious smile spreads across Daniel's face.
”Mind games.”
There is a brief pause.
”Mind games?”
Daniel nods.
”Exactly. Bonecrusher has the experience advantage in this match. He knows all the tricks in the book, so I have to think outside the book. Or box. I have to come up with something brand new to trick him. You know how people are past the age of thirty. Stuck in their ways, confused and afraid of anything new. Once I get him groggy, I can kick his ass all the way to the retirement home.”
”What is this brand new thing you're planning on doing, Mr. Smart?”
”If I told you, it would defeat the point. It has to be something he doesn't see coming. Perhaps I will climb the turnbuckle, only to climb back down and put him in a headlock. What do you call that? Mind games. What if I irish whip him to the ropes, then get into a running contest with him? Mind games! What if I set up a Knee-DS, charge him at full speed... then poke him in the eye and roll him up? Mind games! What if I bring a steel chair into the ring and pretend to him him with it, but hit myself instead? Mind games!”
There is another moment of silence. Tyler's voice eventually pops up, sounding puzzled.
”That certainly sounds like a unique plan, Mr. Smart.”
”But what if that's not my plan? Maybe I'm planning to be bog-standard. Poor Johnny will spend all match waiting for something completely out there, only for it to never come. He will expect the unexpected, so the expected will catch him off guard!”
”But now that you've said it, won't he expect that?”
”If he expects that, he'll get the unexpected. You see, like bean dip or pumpkin pie, my mind works on multiple layers. Just when you think you've seen it all, there's a whole new layer underneath. As an example, take the name of my finishing move. Yes, it is a knee and my initials are DS. Some may think that's all there is to the move, but wait, there's more! The name is also a reference to a beloved game console of mine... the 3DS!”
Daniel turns to his right, where his gym bag has been laying all this time. Daniel reaches into his bag and pulls out a silver 3DS handheld console.
”This 3DS is how I handle the flights from here to Chicago and back. If I didn't have this console, I would be bored to tears! I would have to spend hours on my phone playing Candy Crush Saga or 2048! The very thought makes me shudder! This console means a lot to me, but this tournament means even more than that. There's nothing I'm not willing to put on the line to win this match. Even my beloved 3DS...”
”Wait, that's my 3DS! What are you planning?”
”I'm going to prove my resolve. I'll sever my ties with something that has brought me hours of joy so I can prove I deserve eternal glory! 3DS... prepare to meet the Knee-DS!”
Daniel raises the 3DS high above his head. Tyler belts out a high-pitched scream.
”No! STOP!”
Daniel swings the 3DS down at his knee, lifting his knee up to strike it...
Then stops.
”I'm not actually gonna break it.”
”What? Then why would you...”
”MIND GAMES!”
”...”
After putting the 3DS next to his phone on the table, Daniel turns back to the camera again, a confident expression on his face.
”Johnny B., you have to ask yourself: If I can almost break my friend's 3DS, what can I do almost do to you? Think about that. Or don't. Or don't, then realize that that might be what you want. Or realize that you realizing that might be what I want. Layers upon layers of mind games, an endless web of deceit. That's what you face when you face me. Or is it? I guess you'll find out.
A moment goes by in awkward silence as Daniel keeps staring at the camera.
”Tyler.”
”Huh? Oh, right.”
Tyler loudly clears his throat.
”You sound as confident as ever and will surely defeat Johnny B. later tonight. Is there anything else you want to say?”
Baring his whitened teeth, Daniel flashes a self-assured smile.
”Johnny B., tonight you're about to go one one on with the smart one. You'll face the best of the best, and go down like all the rest. I'm going to kick your Canuck butt for good luck and beat your ass pronto from here to Toronto. I hope you shut your mouth and know your place, because later tonight...”
Daniel grabs the camera and sticks his face on it.
”I'll Knee-DS your face!”
