Post by Deleted on May 1, 2014 18:37:00 GMT -6
Well! It looks like the Jerk Convention is fully under way around these parts! Only, someone's got to be the Chairman, the World's Biggest Jerk™®©, if you will, and, oh hey! who's got that title in the MSW, nay, the world? If those super special symbols (the "™®©" ones you've seen several times already) are any indication, that title can surely belong to one man and one man alone:
So today our scene opens up with a tight show of The Johnny's beautiful mug. He's on a small black flat buttonless contraption which is pressed up to his ear. For your convenience, this conversation is heard from its inception. You're welcome.
Johnny B.: "Hello? Hello? Are you ree-cee-ving this, sir? ...What's that? ...You're where?"
Johnny unnecessarily cups the device and turns to interact with the viewers. He whispers the following:
Johnny B.: "I'm on the phone with my tag-team partner at Best of the Best, Yugo Phailous."
He motions to go back to his conversation, but then just turns back to address the viewers again.
Johnny B.: "And we're gonna be facing off against The Confederate Daikon Chad Vargas and his new best friend Mr. Teabags Leo Banks. How's that for some unnecessary exposition, MSW fans?"
He chuckles to himself before turning aside and getting back to Phailous on the Phoneous.
Johnny B.: "I-I was talking to the folks at home just then! ...Yeah! ...Yeah, I'm being filmed as we speak! ...Huh? Ugh, fine, fine, one sec, m'lord."
He turns back to the camera, looking a tad unimpressed.
Johnny B.: "Yugo says 'hi'. ...'Howdy', actually. There, happy now, Phailous? ...Huh?! I don't understand your strange accent. Is it French by chance?"
The moment he finishes his sentence, he yanks the device away from his head and winces. A familiar voice can clearly be heard barking unintelligibly. After a few more moments of this, he examines the mystical black monolith - or should that be minilith? - or should it actually be called a f***ing cell phone because that's what it is??? - anyway, he does this, and smirks.
Johnny B.: "No? Not French then? So sorry, bud! ...Whoa, dude! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? ...Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, you're having Death follow you and all that, but what has Death done for you lately? ...Meaning, you planning on bringing some of that sweet sweet Death to our match at Best of the Best? ...I don't understand? I don't understand... what? Oh, Hell, forget it. Did you catch what the great and honourable Misters Vargas and Banks said about us recently? ...Oh, you did!"
He turns to face the camera once more.
Johnny B.: "He did!"
He starts to walk around the nondescript area and continues his conversation with his tag-team partner.
Johnny B.: "The funny thing about all of what those jabronis - c-can I say 'jabronis'? No? Oh, okay. - those guyyyyys, is that Banks hates Vargas just as much as we do! Well, it's a good thing he's teamed up with him then, isn't it!? ...Oh, right, I almost forgot! Banks seems to be preoccupied with that Peyton Von Licht character. ...Wait, you too, Phailous? ...Yeah, okay, I kinda want to fight Peyton too."
Johnny points to the camera and makes a phone gesture with his hand as he mouths the words, "Call me, Peyton!"
Johnny B.: "But anyway! As caring less about this match as Banksy was, Vargasshole was a little too into it, if you ask me. ...I know, man! You, not a real cowboy! Is the man done gone insane in the membrane?! ...Yeah, well, King Kong might not got shit on him, but rest assured, Yours Truly's at least gonna get shit on him, all the shit!"
Moments after finishing, Johnny gives a confused look to the phone.
Johnny B.: "Huh, what? You wanna have a meeting and brainstorm ways to make Team Cheo's lives miserable? Sounds like a plan! Sounds like my plan from last week when you said you were too hungover to get together! ...No, I don't wanna meet at the Rusty Cowpoke! ...I also do not wanna f***ing meet at Horseshoe Saloon! ...What?! The Dirty Wench?? Now you're just making shit up! NO, let's meet somewhere that doesn't sell booze, son! ...Oh, haw haw, Canada? That's the best you can come up with? ...How about Starbucks, huh? Get jacked on depth-charges for days, son! What whaaaat!"
Johnny's excited look fades out as quickly as it emerged. He rolls his eyes and glares at the camera as if saying, "Can you believe this guy?"
Johnny B.: "Starbucks. ...Starbucks. ...Star. Bucks. ...No. ...No!! Coffee! We got a match to focus on! ...Yugo! ...Yugo? ...Yugo!!! ...Okay, good. Starbucks, 7pm, tomorrow. ...Right on. ...Okay, see you then, sir. ...Later."
He puts the phone away, and hangs his head, sighing.
Johnny B.: "That boy's mooootherf***in' exhausting!"
Johnny B..
So today our scene opens up with a tight show of The Johnny's beautiful mug. He's on a small black flat buttonless contraption which is pressed up to his ear. For your convenience, this conversation is heard from its inception. You're welcome.
Johnny B.: "Hello? Hello? Are you ree-cee-ving this, sir? ...What's that? ...You're where?"
Johnny unnecessarily cups the device and turns to interact with the viewers. He whispers the following:
Johnny B.: "I'm on the phone with my tag-team partner at Best of the Best, Yugo Phailous."
He motions to go back to his conversation, but then just turns back to address the viewers again.
Johnny B.: "And we're gonna be facing off against The Confederate Daikon Chad Vargas and his new best friend Mr. Teabags Leo Banks. How's that for some unnecessary exposition, MSW fans?"
He chuckles to himself before turning aside and getting back to Phailous on the Phoneous.
Johnny B.: "I-I was talking to the folks at home just then! ...Yeah! ...Yeah, I'm being filmed as we speak! ...Huh? Ugh, fine, fine, one sec, m'lord."
He turns back to the camera, looking a tad unimpressed.
Johnny B.: "Yugo says 'hi'. ...'Howdy', actually. There, happy now, Phailous? ...Huh?! I don't understand your strange accent. Is it French by chance?"
The moment he finishes his sentence, he yanks the device away from his head and winces. A familiar voice can clearly be heard barking unintelligibly. After a few more moments of this, he examines the mystical black monolith - or should that be minilith? - or should it actually be called a f***ing cell phone because that's what it is??? - anyway, he does this, and smirks.
Johnny B.: "No? Not French then? So sorry, bud! ...Whoa, dude! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? ...Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, you're having Death follow you and all that, but what has Death done for you lately? ...Meaning, you planning on bringing some of that sweet sweet Death to our match at Best of the Best? ...I don't understand? I don't understand... what? Oh, Hell, forget it. Did you catch what the great and honourable Misters Vargas and Banks said about us recently? ...Oh, you did!"
He turns to face the camera once more.
Johnny B.: "He did!"
He starts to walk around the nondescript area and continues his conversation with his tag-team partner.
Johnny B.: "The funny thing about all of what those jabronis - c-can I say 'jabronis'? No? Oh, okay. - those guyyyyys, is that Banks hates Vargas just as much as we do! Well, it's a good thing he's teamed up with him then, isn't it!? ...Oh, right, I almost forgot! Banks seems to be preoccupied with that Peyton Von Licht character. ...Wait, you too, Phailous? ...Yeah, okay, I kinda want to fight Peyton too."
Johnny points to the camera and makes a phone gesture with his hand as he mouths the words, "Call me, Peyton!"
Johnny B.: "But anyway! As caring less about this match as Banksy was, Vargasshole was a little too into it, if you ask me. ...I know, man! You, not a real cowboy! Is the man done gone insane in the membrane?! ...Yeah, well, King Kong might not got shit on him, but rest assured, Yours Truly's at least gonna get shit on him, all the shit!"
Moments after finishing, Johnny gives a confused look to the phone.
Johnny B.: "Huh, what? You wanna have a meeting and brainstorm ways to make Team Cheo's lives miserable? Sounds like a plan! Sounds like my plan from last week when you said you were too hungover to get together! ...No, I don't wanna meet at the Rusty Cowpoke! ...I also do not wanna f***ing meet at Horseshoe Saloon! ...What?! The Dirty Wench?? Now you're just making shit up! NO, let's meet somewhere that doesn't sell booze, son! ...Oh, haw haw, Canada? That's the best you can come up with? ...How about Starbucks, huh? Get jacked on depth-charges for days, son! What whaaaat!"
Johnny's excited look fades out as quickly as it emerged. He rolls his eyes and glares at the camera as if saying, "Can you believe this guy?"
Johnny B.: "Starbucks. ...Starbucks. ...Star. Bucks. ...No. ...No!! Coffee! We got a match to focus on! ...Yugo! ...Yugo? ...Yugo!!! ...Okay, good. Starbucks, 7pm, tomorrow. ...Right on. ...Okay, see you then, sir. ...Later."
He puts the phone away, and hangs his head, sighing.
Johnny B.: "That boy's mooootherf***in' exhausting!"
TBC by: Yugo Phailous.