Post by Deleted on May 6, 2014 17:07:11 GMT -6
Best of the Best, Missouri State Wrestling’s Pay-Per-View for the month of May, headlined by the World Heavyweight championship title bout between Daniel Smart and Bryce Manning. “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas finds himself in a situation he’s rarely ever in, since his rookie year back in 1997, opening up a show. Chad Vargas, clearly irritated by lack of respect shown by MSW management as well as his fellow colleagues. Instead of being bitter and walking out the doors like he normally would, he swallows his pride, puts his head down and his fists up and goes to work.
Two complete asshats such as Johnny B. and Yugo Phalious stand in his way to his first career televised MSW victory, however he has a less then great partner in Leo Banks slowing him down. Bonecrusher and Phalious’ horrible promos have Vargas laughing at their attempts to be “cool” in the public’s eye – yet all they seem to do is make more of a douche in themselves then they have already been proved of being.
(Chad Vargas sits in an airport, waiting for his lawyer and agent Treat Cassidy to arrive, to head off to the arena to prepare for Best of the Best. He is enjoying people watching while taking snaps off his flask, which houses straight Jim Beam whiskey. Two Asian homosexuals walk past him hand in hand, one giggles as the other slaps his ass.)
Vargas: Un fucking believable. I don’t know what I hate more, Asians or homos.
(An MSW spokesman wearing an MSW Censorship t-shirt comes out of nowhere.)
MSW spokesman: Sir, please, we don’t allow bigotry or racism on our programming.
Vargas: Get the fuck out of my face before I snap your neck right here and now, bitch. I ain’t racist – I just don’t fuckin’ like ‘em. Same as I don’t like redheads, turtles, or cabdrivers so save your speech for someone who gives a rats ass!
MSW spokesman: (taken back and annoyed by Vargas’ disregard) Listen, sir – I will file a motion to hav—
(Before he can finish, Vargas gets up and punches him in the nose, flattening it to his face, blood squirts everywhere as the man threatens the police before running off.)
Vargas: Fuck authority. Stevenson will probably throw a fine at me for this, but fuck it I got money – I don’t blow it all on meth like that tweaker bitch Bonecrusher and I sure as hell don’t conform for anybody – that’s why I sell out shows, and my merchandise is flying off shelves. Love me or hate me I’m what puts MSW on the map.
(Vargas takes a snap off his flask as he sees a bum walk by him, smelling like rotting asshole and unwashed feet.)
Vargas: Bonecrusher sighting. (Vargas lifts his head up toward the bum.) I should offer that guy 100 bucks, have him cleaned up and bring him to BoTB with me, ‘cause that motherfucking Leo Banks is setting me up for failure. Tell you what, Danny Stevenson, Justin Gravitt and any of you office bitches hearing me, hear me loud and clear – NEVER and I do mean NEVER book me in a match with Leo Banks again, unless it’s Vargas –vs- Banks in a deathmatch. You guys think you’re so smart for teaming us up, but thanks a lot fellas – now I gotta pull all the weight. So Leo Banks, take that monopoly play money of yours and cram it up your asshole because after tomorrow night I never want to see you again unless your lifeless unconscious body is laying on the mat underneath me.
(Vargas stands up, walks from his chair and peers out the window.)
Vargas: I managed to see Bonecrusher and Phalious’ latest “promos” on the internet. Where the fuck do they get their material anyway? An 8th grader? Seriously, not only is it talentless, un-funny, and complete trash – but all they do is suck each other off and say the exact same shit they said before. Get some new material fellas, please for the love of God you two fuckin’ blow.
(As Vargas looks out the window, at the fish market near the airport. Asians are working their tails off throwing and chopping fish.)
Vargas: See, Phalious? Bonecrusher? I can do it too. I can fill a promo with the same shit from before too. It seems like it never gets old with you two cocks, so I may as well try it on for size my own self.
(Vargas points to the fish market.)
Vargas: That’s where you belong, Phalious. Pro Wrestling isn’t for you. As I've said, time and time again - but apparently what I say doesn't seem to sink into your thick skull. But please, just know - You aren’t intimidating nor are you any kind of bad ass ‘death bringer’ that you keep referring too. I don’t know what kind of street drugs have been altering your mind, but it’s something because you clearly aren’t thinking clear headed lately.
(Vargas points to yet another bum, passed out with a 40 ounce Steel reserve clutched in his hands on his newspaper blanket.)
Vargas: And Bonecrusher, that’s where you belong, pal. Seems to me your bitter about falling out of the World championship title race, but did you seriously think you had a chance? You’re opening the card for a reason. You and Phalious can joke and finger each other’s assholes all you want about me being in two back to back dark matches. Is that all you have in that arsenal of yours? So petty and so elementary. My two year old nephew has more brain capacity then both of you put together.
(Vargas lets out a long exhausting yawn, discussing these two nobodies really is taking the wind out of his sails.)
Vargas: Dark matches mean less then shit to me considering I’ve traveled across the fuckin’ globe racking up wins and title belts. Does the matter here in MSW? No it doesn’t – because I’m a ‘rookie’ to MSW. New blood, if you will – you’ve been here since it’s inception, and here you are – opening up BoTB with your fishhead friend Yugo at your side. So, what exactly is your excuse Bonecrusher? Where has your singles career gone?
(Crickets chirping)
Vargas: …Exactly
(Vargas takes a haul off his flask and walks away from the window, he approaches an escalator and rides down.)
Vargas: Yeah Phalious (claps his hands) training, for me, when it comes to facing the likes of you two – is indeed slamming beers, shots of whiskey, sleeping, and watching TV. I don’t need to train to wipe the floor with you. You can only ride Bonecrusher’s coattail for so long before your proven to be the sham that you are. Your hotwheels joke was funny too by the way, I heard a four year old laughing at it, but then again, he could’ve been laughing at the sound his ass made when he farted, I’m not sure.
(As Vargas leaves the airport to the outside area, just as he walks out a gold limousine pulls up, Vargas’ driver Danny Dastardly steps out, walks to the back of the limo and opens the door as Treat Cassidy hops out, on his phone. Vargas approaches the limo slowly.)
Vargas: See that, boys? More success. I can bet half a million dollars that neither Bonecrusher nor Phalious have limos, or their own personal agent who moonlights as a lawyer. But, that I guess also goes hand in hand with money, and talent – but I digress. After all, Phalious’ one measly insult to me is being in “two back to back dark matches”. Wow kid, come off it already. Let’s get with the program shall we?
(Cassidy ends his phone call as he and Vargas shake hands. Cassidy and Vargas enter the back of the limo, as Danny D shuts the door and climbs back into the driver’s seat.)
Vargas: Best of the Best. Unfortunately it was suppose to be a tag team match but it appears it’ll be a handicap match with me going in solo against Johnny Boner and Yugo Failure. I’ll do whatever it takes to come out on top, but thanks to my ‘partner’ Leo Banks failing to pull his weight, I’ll probably walk out on the losing end – but all is well that ends OK because tomorrow is a new day and next week is a new week – Hopefully these two faggots realize I ain’t one to be fucked with, and I ain’t no pushover. I’m a Southern fuckin’ Bad ass who will stop at nothing until someone is dead. Save the crying for your mama’s who don’t care fellas – I’ll see you in awhile!
(Vargas and Cassidy begin discussing Vargas’ potential wrestling career moving to Japan as the scene fades to black.)
Two complete asshats such as Johnny B. and Yugo Phalious stand in his way to his first career televised MSW victory, however he has a less then great partner in Leo Banks slowing him down. Bonecrusher and Phalious’ horrible promos have Vargas laughing at their attempts to be “cool” in the public’s eye – yet all they seem to do is make more of a douche in themselves then they have already been proved of being.
(Chad Vargas sits in an airport, waiting for his lawyer and agent Treat Cassidy to arrive, to head off to the arena to prepare for Best of the Best. He is enjoying people watching while taking snaps off his flask, which houses straight Jim Beam whiskey. Two Asian homosexuals walk past him hand in hand, one giggles as the other slaps his ass.)
Vargas: Un fucking believable. I don’t know what I hate more, Asians or homos.
(An MSW spokesman wearing an MSW Censorship t-shirt comes out of nowhere.)
MSW spokesman: Sir, please, we don’t allow bigotry or racism on our programming.
Vargas: Get the fuck out of my face before I snap your neck right here and now, bitch. I ain’t racist – I just don’t fuckin’ like ‘em. Same as I don’t like redheads, turtles, or cabdrivers so save your speech for someone who gives a rats ass!
MSW spokesman: (taken back and annoyed by Vargas’ disregard) Listen, sir – I will file a motion to hav—
(Before he can finish, Vargas gets up and punches him in the nose, flattening it to his face, blood squirts everywhere as the man threatens the police before running off.)
Vargas: Fuck authority. Stevenson will probably throw a fine at me for this, but fuck it I got money – I don’t blow it all on meth like that tweaker bitch Bonecrusher and I sure as hell don’t conform for anybody – that’s why I sell out shows, and my merchandise is flying off shelves. Love me or hate me I’m what puts MSW on the map.
(Vargas takes a snap off his flask as he sees a bum walk by him, smelling like rotting asshole and unwashed feet.)
Vargas: Bonecrusher sighting. (Vargas lifts his head up toward the bum.) I should offer that guy 100 bucks, have him cleaned up and bring him to BoTB with me, ‘cause that motherfucking Leo Banks is setting me up for failure. Tell you what, Danny Stevenson, Justin Gravitt and any of you office bitches hearing me, hear me loud and clear – NEVER and I do mean NEVER book me in a match with Leo Banks again, unless it’s Vargas –vs- Banks in a deathmatch. You guys think you’re so smart for teaming us up, but thanks a lot fellas – now I gotta pull all the weight. So Leo Banks, take that monopoly play money of yours and cram it up your asshole because after tomorrow night I never want to see you again unless your lifeless unconscious body is laying on the mat underneath me.
(Vargas stands up, walks from his chair and peers out the window.)
Vargas: I managed to see Bonecrusher and Phalious’ latest “promos” on the internet. Where the fuck do they get their material anyway? An 8th grader? Seriously, not only is it talentless, un-funny, and complete trash – but all they do is suck each other off and say the exact same shit they said before. Get some new material fellas, please for the love of God you two fuckin’ blow.
(As Vargas looks out the window, at the fish market near the airport. Asians are working their tails off throwing and chopping fish.)
Vargas: See, Phalious? Bonecrusher? I can do it too. I can fill a promo with the same shit from before too. It seems like it never gets old with you two cocks, so I may as well try it on for size my own self.
(Vargas points to the fish market.)
Vargas: That’s where you belong, Phalious. Pro Wrestling isn’t for you. As I've said, time and time again - but apparently what I say doesn't seem to sink into your thick skull. But please, just know - You aren’t intimidating nor are you any kind of bad ass ‘death bringer’ that you keep referring too. I don’t know what kind of street drugs have been altering your mind, but it’s something because you clearly aren’t thinking clear headed lately.
(Vargas points to yet another bum, passed out with a 40 ounce Steel reserve clutched in his hands on his newspaper blanket.)
Vargas: And Bonecrusher, that’s where you belong, pal. Seems to me your bitter about falling out of the World championship title race, but did you seriously think you had a chance? You’re opening the card for a reason. You and Phalious can joke and finger each other’s assholes all you want about me being in two back to back dark matches. Is that all you have in that arsenal of yours? So petty and so elementary. My two year old nephew has more brain capacity then both of you put together.
(Vargas lets out a long exhausting yawn, discussing these two nobodies really is taking the wind out of his sails.)
Vargas: Dark matches mean less then shit to me considering I’ve traveled across the fuckin’ globe racking up wins and title belts. Does the matter here in MSW? No it doesn’t – because I’m a ‘rookie’ to MSW. New blood, if you will – you’ve been here since it’s inception, and here you are – opening up BoTB with your fishhead friend Yugo at your side. So, what exactly is your excuse Bonecrusher? Where has your singles career gone?
(Crickets chirping)
Vargas: …Exactly
(Vargas takes a haul off his flask and walks away from the window, he approaches an escalator and rides down.)
Vargas: Yeah Phalious (claps his hands) training, for me, when it comes to facing the likes of you two – is indeed slamming beers, shots of whiskey, sleeping, and watching TV. I don’t need to train to wipe the floor with you. You can only ride Bonecrusher’s coattail for so long before your proven to be the sham that you are. Your hotwheels joke was funny too by the way, I heard a four year old laughing at it, but then again, he could’ve been laughing at the sound his ass made when he farted, I’m not sure.
(As Vargas leaves the airport to the outside area, just as he walks out a gold limousine pulls up, Vargas’ driver Danny Dastardly steps out, walks to the back of the limo and opens the door as Treat Cassidy hops out, on his phone. Vargas approaches the limo slowly.)
Vargas: See that, boys? More success. I can bet half a million dollars that neither Bonecrusher nor Phalious have limos, or their own personal agent who moonlights as a lawyer. But, that I guess also goes hand in hand with money, and talent – but I digress. After all, Phalious’ one measly insult to me is being in “two back to back dark matches”. Wow kid, come off it already. Let’s get with the program shall we?
(Cassidy ends his phone call as he and Vargas shake hands. Cassidy and Vargas enter the back of the limo, as Danny D shuts the door and climbs back into the driver’s seat.)
Vargas: Best of the Best. Unfortunately it was suppose to be a tag team match but it appears it’ll be a handicap match with me going in solo against Johnny Boner and Yugo Failure. I’ll do whatever it takes to come out on top, but thanks to my ‘partner’ Leo Banks failing to pull his weight, I’ll probably walk out on the losing end – but all is well that ends OK because tomorrow is a new day and next week is a new week – Hopefully these two faggots realize I ain’t one to be fucked with, and I ain’t no pushover. I’m a Southern fuckin’ Bad ass who will stop at nothing until someone is dead. Save the crying for your mama’s who don’t care fellas – I’ll see you in awhile!
(Vargas and Cassidy begin discussing Vargas’ potential wrestling career moving to Japan as the scene fades to black.)