Post by Deleted on May 31, 2014 19:36:12 GMT -6
At a recent event, Jim Ross appeared with Tommy Dreamer and Victoria. JR killed Tommy Dreamer and Victoria and made BBQ sauce out of their blood. Then a wrestler takes on the gimmick of being BBQ sauce made by JR using Dreamer and Victoria's blood given sentience and sapience by the collective forces of Papa Shango and Rasta the Voodoo Mon, and seeks revenge.
JR hires a bodyguard in the form of Bastion Booger, who, despite having been dead for some years now, is not looking worse for wear, thanks to a small bit of special BBQ sauce that acted as embalming fluid.
The Undertaker warns both parties separately that tampering with dark forces is going to result in a wrestling cataclysm, but they ignore him, their respective monomaniacal goals of mutually-assured destruction clouding their judgement.
Phantasio re-emerges, now wielding mystical powers beyond those of the sleight of hand that he once bore many years ago. He interjects himself into the epic battle at the behest of the Undertaker, the latter feeling only he can bring peace to both warring parties.
The unnamed BBQ golem (played by The Brooklyn Brawler, then later by Konnan) and the JR/BB collaborative call a ceasefire, finally understanding that their battle would cause irreversible damage to the multiverse.
Vince McMahon, butt-hurt that an angle of this level isn't revolving around him, caused a scenario where Bastion Booger would consume a mushroom that caused his insatiable hunger to turn him into a madman, now once more and stronger than ever, Hell-bent on consuming the BBQ Golem.
Phantasio winds up sacrificing his own life to protect the BBQ Golem, the magical energies released at his death summoning the ECW Zombie, now a Lich, who resurrects myriad wrestlers from the grave to try to rule the world.
JR, BB, and BBQG join forces with The Undertaker to try to take down the hordes of zombie wrestlers, but are overwhelmed. They retreat for the time being, but band together more allies, including all the animal-based wrestlers Koko B Ware, The British Bulldogs, Mantaur, Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, Saba Simba, and a surprise ally in The Man Called Sting and his army of vultures.
Vince McMahon, now having completely lost his mind, boasts that only in is death will the insanity stop. Sting promptly kills him without hesitation, but the madness continued. It was clear that Vince, in his final act of lucidity, desired an end to his suffering and lied.
JCW's Evil Dead, having his intelligence increased exponentially due to the dark forces permeating the world, joins in and explains that The ECW Zombie's organs are kept in phylacteries, and when destroyed, will destroy him too.
So they send out the smaller wrestlers, like Rey Mysterio Jr. and Daniel Bryan, as well as midget wrestlers and minis to act as stealth agents in order to locate the containers holding The ECW Zombie's organs.
Evil Dead explains that only a supernatural force is strong enough to destroy the phylacteries. Kane emerges and explains that his Hellfire can do the trick... but only if he was made undead.
Charging head-on against The ECW Zombie - who has discovered their plan and attempts to guard his vitals - he allows himself to be slain, and just as he turns undead, he raises his arms and when they drop, Hellfire bursts out, obliterating both him and the phylacteries in the process.
The ECW Zombie returns to dust, the zombie wrestler hordes return to their graves, ashamed they were party to this madness, and order is restored once more.
However, evil only slumbers, never dies completely: Evil Dead has gained a taste for his now-lost intellect, and ponders... Ponders...
JR hires a bodyguard in the form of Bastion Booger, who, despite having been dead for some years now, is not looking worse for wear, thanks to a small bit of special BBQ sauce that acted as embalming fluid.
The Undertaker warns both parties separately that tampering with dark forces is going to result in a wrestling cataclysm, but they ignore him, their respective monomaniacal goals of mutually-assured destruction clouding their judgement.
Phantasio re-emerges, now wielding mystical powers beyond those of the sleight of hand that he once bore many years ago. He interjects himself into the epic battle at the behest of the Undertaker, the latter feeling only he can bring peace to both warring parties.
The unnamed BBQ golem (played by The Brooklyn Brawler, then later by Konnan) and the JR/BB collaborative call a ceasefire, finally understanding that their battle would cause irreversible damage to the multiverse.
Vince McMahon, butt-hurt that an angle of this level isn't revolving around him, caused a scenario where Bastion Booger would consume a mushroom that caused his insatiable hunger to turn him into a madman, now once more and stronger than ever, Hell-bent on consuming the BBQ Golem.
Phantasio winds up sacrificing his own life to protect the BBQ Golem, the magical energies released at his death summoning the ECW Zombie, now a Lich, who resurrects myriad wrestlers from the grave to try to rule the world.
JR, BB, and BBQG join forces with The Undertaker to try to take down the hordes of zombie wrestlers, but are overwhelmed. They retreat for the time being, but band together more allies, including all the animal-based wrestlers Koko B Ware, The British Bulldogs, Mantaur, Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, Saba Simba, and a surprise ally in The Man Called Sting and his army of vultures.
Vince McMahon, now having completely lost his mind, boasts that only in is death will the insanity stop. Sting promptly kills him without hesitation, but the madness continued. It was clear that Vince, in his final act of lucidity, desired an end to his suffering and lied.
JCW's Evil Dead, having his intelligence increased exponentially due to the dark forces permeating the world, joins in and explains that The ECW Zombie's organs are kept in phylacteries, and when destroyed, will destroy him too.
So they send out the smaller wrestlers, like Rey Mysterio Jr. and Daniel Bryan, as well as midget wrestlers and minis to act as stealth agents in order to locate the containers holding The ECW Zombie's organs.
Evil Dead explains that only a supernatural force is strong enough to destroy the phylacteries. Kane emerges and explains that his Hellfire can do the trick... but only if he was made undead.
Charging head-on against The ECW Zombie - who has discovered their plan and attempts to guard his vitals - he allows himself to be slain, and just as he turns undead, he raises his arms and when they drop, Hellfire bursts out, obliterating both him and the phylacteries in the process.
The ECW Zombie returns to dust, the zombie wrestler hordes return to their graves, ashamed they were party to this madness, and order is restored once more.
However, evil only slumbers, never dies completely: Evil Dead has gained a taste for his now-lost intellect, and ponders... Ponders...
