The Definition of Satire (vs. Frankie Cocheese IV)
May 15, 2016 11:27:45 GMT -6
Lebroc Harris likes this
Post by devilssaint on May 15, 2016 11:27:45 GMT -6
Nikki Venom is sitting in a personal study with a medical dictionary closed on his lap. He has on a pair of jeans free of any holes, a beige shirt on underneath a rust-coloured leather jacket. He has a pleasant, welcoming smile on his face. 'Let's drop any sort of introductions, my point has already been made. However, I would like to start off by reading you some definitions.' He holds up the book. 'These first two come from the Medical Dictionary. The first is Psychopath-' He opens the book to a neon yellow sticky note and clears his throat. '"A person whose behaviour suggests indifference to the rights and feelings of others. A person in whom prior experience has induced antisocial personality disorder." I don't even need to read antisocial personality disorder. We all know Frankie Cocheese is outspoken. However, let's move onto this next definition.' He flips the pages to the next neon yellow sticky note. 'Mythomania: "A compulsion to embroider the truth, engage in exaggeration, or tell lies."' Nikki looks up from the book. 'As a medical definition, that is just the cold.' He accents the last word. 'Hard. Truth.' Nikki closes the book and places it on his lap with his hands over top of it. 'So why is that important in anyway, shape or form? Well MSW fans, Franklin Cocheese has been pulling you along on his train of lies. Due to Franklin flooding the market with his videos-' Nikki wears the devil's smile. 'I will predominantly be speaking on his meat-locker escapade with Barrel.'
'We will start off by diagnosing Franklin Cocheese's psychopathy. This shouldn't be too hard. He hears me satirically criticize him and, without much thought as to the consequences, sent his men to attack me. We could also call that cowardice, but for now we will stick to psychopath. Then as our second piece of evidence, we bring up this little girl.' The monochrome girl materializes in front of the camera. 'Without care as to her involvement with me, he preceded to make sexual comments to this little girl.' She fades away. 'And the reason I continue to bring this up is because he has yet to answer to that. Instead he puts out videos that are a lot like Taco Bell. They may be good, but it's just full of unnecessary filler. Good thing this company doesn't disqualify people for putting out videos that are too long. I think that successfully diagnoses Frankie Cocheese as a psychopath. Let's move on to mythomania. Our good old pal -our droog, if you will- seems to have a compulsion to embellish the truth. He likes to put words in my mouth and tell you, the MSW fans that I believe this company is worthless. I had no recollection of saying anything like that so I went back to see what I had said. I said the wrestling business has become nothing more than a bunch of emo kids that tell everyone who will listen "no one understands me". It's become so overused that it does nothing but makes the person look banal. That is a fair criticism of the wrestling business, so I'm not sure where I crapped on IC3. I said I don't trust where the Hardcore Title has been.' Nikki looks confused into the camera. 'You have been following the 24 feed following the Hardcore title, right? You've seen everything that title has gone through and some things it hasn't. I don't trust someone hasn't taken it into the shitter with them, and if I ever touched that title I'd have to Lysol it until it sparkled because I don't trust people's personal habits. Or how about the Pure15 Championship, the now IMPure championship. Is it shitting all over the company to say that a title that had so many restrictions didn't interest me? The rules behind it don't exactly mesh with my specific brand of wrestling. I'm more of a striker, and restricting the use of punches defeats that purpose. How about saying that I look at influencing these people is more important to me than defending what can be boiled down to a title and a hunk of metal on a strap of leather? I don't need validation through championships, I've expressed my disinterest in them almost all of my career. It wasn't the title I cared about. It was coming out and giving these people something to cheer for, one way or another. So is that disrespecting IC3 or MSW? No, that's just Frankie Cocheese embellishing the truth.'
Nikki stands up to put the medical dictionary away. 'Let's try out one more definition, just to get my point across crystal clear.' He grabs the Oxford Dictionary off of one of the bookshelves. Nikki sits back on his chair and flips to a page with a neon yellow sticky note. 'Satire: "The use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize peoples stupidity or vices." So for example, when you say your buddies are all too busy to deal with me, meanwhile they are all standing right behind you doing nothing productive, that's pretty stupid. I parodied that in a satirical manner, and I made it abundantly clear when I said verbatim, "I think everyone gets how stupid Cocheese's hypemen look. You can go now." How about when I was taking aim at everybody? You know when I criticized everyone you mentioned then finished it all off with this little nugget. Let's cut to the end of that video.' The scene cuts to Nikki with a mustache.
EDN
