No Instructions Included!
May 16, 2016 18:35:29 GMT -6
Chris Williams and Sister Catherine like this
Post by The 'Burb Boys on May 16, 2016 18:35:29 GMT -6
"Dude, HICKS not HICKIES!"
"Dude, I know."
"Dude.."
That was the usual banter between the brothers Taylor; Danny and Donny. To the naked eye, two rich caucasian kids who grew up with trust-funds in Beverly Hills, California, but to the intelligent and knowledgeable they were passionate.. cocky, yes, but very talented in their craft. The elder of the two, Daniel or Danny as he goes by could be recognized by his side-burn chops that was inspired by Elvis Presley. The younger, Donald or Donny, had a more slender build of the two and lighter colored hair.
"Oh dude, look!" Danny pointed to the camera which he noticed was filming. "I told you to give me a heads up before you turned the camera on! I wanted it to capture my good side!" Danny moved around and basically exchanged places with his brother as he looked toward the camera all as Donny was busy scrolling on his iPad.
"And people thought we weren't good fishermen! We snagged ourselves a couple of wide-mouth bass in Christian Michaels and Javen!" Danny's voice reeked of sarcasm and a hint of a stereotypical Southern accent. "It didn't take long either, all we had to do was go on Twitter and look for the dumbest guys we could find and start throwing shade."
"Like The Blackwells?"
"DUDE! THE BLACKWELLS!!
The brothers exchanged a high-five.
"See The Blackwells, a couple of Alabama brothers who liked to tell us to 'Shape the FLUCK Up," thought they were the biggest dogs in the yard.. but we taught them.. we taught them alright. We not only broke Damon Blackwell's arm, but we sent Mama Blackwell to the nuthouse after her baby boy was crying and screaming like a kid told no in a Toys 'R Us. You think you're any different? You shouldn't even be in the game anymore CM, you should sitting on a rocking chair in Tennessee, complaining about kids intruding on your front lawn! You let your pride get the best of you dude, and we're going to be the ones that's going to send you packing!"
Doing a shoulder shuffle dance in front of the camera for absolutely no reason at all, Danny nodded his head and worded "oh yeah, oh yeah" each time.
"And Javen? That dude is like.. bro, who cares? I don't, I know Donny doesn't. There ain't even a word to describe how we feel about him, he's just there. Our plan was to get CM's attention, we knew there was the possibility that Javen would tag along and we're fine with that. There's only room for ONE brotherly dual in this business, and it sure as hell isn't Christian Michaels and Javen. It's us.. Danny and Donny, The freakin' 'Burb Boys!" Danny flexed his bicep, Donny did so without breaking his attention from the iPad all as Danny looked in his brother's direction. "Now Donny, you find anything on there on how to effectively wrassle a Southerner?! Is there a instructional blu-ray on Amazon or something!?"
"Of course there isn't a instructional blu-ray, maybe we can modify the search for.. Wrasslin' for Dummies?"
"Dude you're a genius."
"I know dude." with a smile replied Donny.
A few click, clacks and strikes of the keyboard later and there was nothing popping up in the search engine. Donny Taylor facepalmed while Danny did some jumping jacks behind his brother.
"What's with the exercise?"
"We gotta be ready for CM and Javen, they might try to cook us in their gumbo. Our cardio needs to be on point!"
"They're from Tennessee not Louisiana!"
"Dude, who cares?" asked Danny with his inquizitive nature showing.
Danny made a point so Donny shrugged. From jumping jacks Danny Taylor quickly jumped into a flamingo stretch where he pulled his right leg up towards his butt and moved forward to stretch out his quad and back.
"You know what? This is pointless, why the heck are we even looking up directions to handle these two numbskulls? We're The Burb Boys, we never needed directions! Like remember that one time we had to put together the bunk bed and we said screws were stupid?! We made Bateman sit under the top bunk and yeah, it collapsed on him but he's the help so that's what his job is to do! Be the guinea pig, just like those two have to be at Unstoppable!"
Danny now was doing rapid fire push-ups as Donny spun in his comfy office chair.
"Round and round we go, where we stop.. no one knows?! Except, we do know!" Donny said with a bit of a Southern twang in his voice. "Ya see here boys, ah-huh, me and my brother.. ah-huh, we goin' show dem fools from CALY-FOUR-KNEE-EYE-AH how us Southern boys do work!" there was no hiding it, Donny's southern accent was awful. "We're the brothers from Tennessee! We don't know how to spell Tennessee ah-huh, but we know that there's a "z" in there somewhere ah-huh!"
"DUDE THERE'S NO Z IN TENNESSEE!" Danny cut his brother's line and all Donny could do was hang his head.
"Dude.. I know. This is me impersonating CM and Javen! Sheesh!"
"Oh.. My bad then."
"BICEPS!" on cue, Danny flexed his right arm.. a bit skinny, but nonetheless his bicep was pretty well shaped.
"But before I was cut off by my bumblin' brother Luke ah-huh, I was trying to make a point! That point bein, we ain't scared of no Burb Boys cause we ain't even know what the Burb is! All we've got is swamps, log houses and fireflies we make shish-ka-bob out of, ah-huh!"
"Don't forget Tater Salad!"
"And tater salad!" Donny confirmed.
The exercise by Danny stopped as Donny also braked and put an end to the spinning in the chair, standing up. Both brothers stood side by side now, Danny on the right and Donny on the left, Donny had a more slender build than his brother and lighter colored hair, Danny had maybe an inch or so in height on his brother all as they threw their arms around each other's shoulders.
"Whether you like us or not, you're going to learn really quick dudes, we're the best thing going today."
"You heard Donny, we don't mean to brag but we love to boast.. so like.. prove us wrong. You've got the experience on your side, you're older than dirt. I think CM was around during a time where dinosaurs ruled England."
"Dinosaurs ran England?"
"Heck yeah, they had crowns and everything. I saw pictures of it on Reddit, I almost had a heart attack from the awesomeness."
"Dude that's awesome, why didn't you tell me about this sooner?! Instead of using our natural God-given ability to be the best tag team ever in pro wrestling, we could of applied our superior agility, cardio and strength to being dinosaur hunters! Freakin' Paleontologists!" the word rolled off of Donny's tongue as Danny was extremely taken back by it. Slowly turning his head to his brother, Donny noticed this and smiled. "What?"
"Dude.. that word had like.. ten syllables in it. That's impressive."
"Really!?"
"PAY" Donny stuck up the thumb on his right hand to indicate "one."
"AYE" next came the index finger.
"LEE" then the middle.
"EON" then the ring.
"AH" the pinky shot up, bringing up every finger on his right hand as he continued.
"TOE" oddly enough he lifted the pinky of his left hand first.
"LOW" then the ring finger."
"GEE" his middle finger shot up.
"AH" then the index.
"THAST!" finally, his thumb which was ten. He butchered the counting of syllables and pronunciation of the word but he didn't care.
"DUDE, I SHOULD WRITE LEXICONS! HA! You saw what I did there!? I used 'lexicon' instead of 'dictionary' and mom said watching Jeopardy instead of going to History class wouldn't pay off for me, who's the smart one now!?"
The brothers exchanged high fives.
"Aside of the fact that Albie Einstein is who my baby brother is smarter than, we know that we're a heck of a lot more talented than you two, so all that needs to be done is us showing it in the center of the ring come Unstoppable. Experience isn't everything but that's just food for Bob."
"Who's Bob?"
"Dunno, it's what all the smart people say. Bob is probably one of them that needs food to think."
"What an idiot! Bob sucks!"
"Heck yeah he does! Just like CM and Javen, but that's fine because just like the rest of the guys who tried to stand in our way.."
"Don't forget about the ugly chicks.. mangy dogs, and even the llama.."
"Ooo.. The llama, I forgot about the llama. If that's the case then we also need to add in the inflatable Buzz Lightyear that wouldn't leave us alone."
"Good point."
Another high five just happened.
"Come Unstoppable though, you two will join them all in Club.."
"GET.."
".. REKT!"
"YEAH!"
Fade.
