Straight Outta the 'Burb. [Danny Unstoppable #1]
Jun 7, 2016 18:50:31 GMT -6
Matt Ward, Silas Romero, and 2 more like this
Post by The 'Burb Boys on Jun 7, 2016 18:50:31 GMT -6
Da. T: "Remember, no mention of what happened to us at Unstoppable from Michaels and Javen. We're gonna ignore it and act like it never went down because I remember Mom saying if you do that it eventually goes away.
Do. T: "Uh.. Too late."
Da. T: You recording!? What?!"
Do. T: "Yep."
Da. T: "GAH NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS! That's alright we can edit it out after.. three.. two.. one.. NOW we're on!"
Donny didn't realize that the black OtterBox clip attachment for the phone was still on and wasn't recording anything. Audio was being picked up but there was zero video, just a black screen.
Da. T: "Heck yeah. Let me speak on this! YO- YO- YO.. ORALE! ARRIBA LA RRRRAAAAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAA."
Do. T: "We aren't in Mexico anymore."
Da. T: "Sheeah, I knew that! We can't forget about our loyal fans South of the Border that used to make us burritos with that tasty red sauce on it. It was kinda salty though and it's give you the runs dude, I remember I couldn't even wrestle my match because my stomach was all messed up."
Do. T: "You mean that one time they served us raw dog blood as a joke? You actually ate that?"
Da. T: "I thought it was fresh Sriracha sauce! How the hell was I supposed to know they wanted us to absorb the power of their dog Unlucky Garza?!"
Do. T: "DUDE! Nevermind what happened in Mexico, what about Dante Claude Carlington?"
Da. T: "Who's that?"
Do. T: "The dude that IC3 said you've gotta face at Unstoppable on the 18th!"
Da. T: "I thought his name was Donny this whole time, I had prepared notes on the fact that he stole my brother's name and how I was going to wage this epic war over the fact that there could only be one like Highlander except I wouldn't cut his head off- I'd just blast him in the face with a chair."
Do. T: "Good points dude but it doesn't work. You've gotta come up with something else!"
Da. T: "Something else.. Hmm.. Like.. How he sounds like he's gargling marbles when he speaks?"
Do. T: "That can work."
Da. T: "What about how people say I'M stupid when he can't even put across his thoughts without falling over his own feet?! Looooooooook dude, I never tried to say I was the smartest light bulb in the shed or anything, I know what I am and what I can do. Intelligence isn't everything- not when you're a world-class athlete like I am. I can't get a 600 on a SAT but I can do a 630 from the top rope. This is pro wrestling not the High School Chess Club- there's no freakin' pen protectors here! You're a big, bruising bastich but that don't mean nothing 'cause just like in the savannah a pack of hyenas kills a lion for fun."
Do. T: "I'm banned from ringside, remember? So is Frankie, Barrel and Theo."
Silence.. Just silence.
Do. T: "Dude? Danny bro?"
Da. T: "Why are you guys banned? That isn't fair at all! How the hell am I supposed to beat him without you guys?! I don't get paid to wrestle one on one, I'm a tag team guy! What the heck is IC3's problem, why is so he bitter? Did we send 40 pounds of gorilla crap in the mail? I thought we only did that to CM and Javen?! I don't like this match at all, it doesn't make sense- I quit!"
Do. T: "WHAT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT! WE NEED YOU!"
Da. T: "Fine dude. I quit this show!"
Do. T: "WHAT?! Dude you can't quit the show what about Frankie and Theo!? They need us to win so they've got momentum when they take on Badger and The Tryhard in the main event!"
Da. T: "WHY ARE THEY IN A TAG MATCH WHEN WE AREN'T!? ARE WE IN BIZARRO WORLD!? I'M HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK DUDE, WHERE'S THE PLASTIC BAG, I'VE GOTTA PUT IT OVER MY HEAD TO CONTROL MY BREATHING!"
Danny's heaving breathing sounded-
Da. T: "DUDE WHERE'S THE BAG?!"
Do. T: "You need a paper bag not a plastic one! You'd suffocate!"
Da. T: "I NEED SOMETHING, I FEEL LIKE TONY SPANOS WHEN THE DUCKS FLEW AWAY FROM HIS POOL, EXCEPT I DON'T EAT A LOT OF ALFREDO!"
The breathing intensified as Danny begun to jump around in place to take his mind off of things. His keys jingled in his pocket upon each jump he took.
Do. T: "CALM DOWN DUDE!"
Da. T: "I CAN'T! I NEED TO TAKE MY MIND OFF OF THIS, DANTE CLAUDE CARLINGTON IS LIKE FIVE TIMES BIGGER THAN ME, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO TO HIM?! YEAH HE CAN'T SPEAK AMERICAN CORRECTLY BUT I BET HE DRINKS BULL TESTOSTERONE STRAIGHT WITH HORSE SPUNK AS A CHASER!"
Do. T: "You've got this dude- bro, you've got this! How many times have we had to go at things alone in life!? How many times did we have to straight up jack those bullies when we were younger?! I remember you did all the work as I ate ice cream on the side! Don't discount yourself bro, you're the man! You're the man of the Taylor clan and BAM! I just rhymed.. you know why!? Because right now I don't want Danny Taylor- right now I freakin' want the badass himself- Danny T, the gangster with the old-english lettered black hat, Locs and blue flannel button down! And oh shucks- I just realized I kinda forgot to take the clip off of the phone so everything up until now wasn't recorded as a video, just audio. That's a sign Danny, GIVE US DANNY T!"
The sound of a record being spun and scratched sounded as the scene abruptly cut to a shot of Danny Taylor dressed in a blue flannel, black Dickies pants, blue Chuck Taylors, a black hat with "Beverly Hills" across the front in white old-english letters and of course Locs.. the Locs brought it all together. He also rocked a pair of black fingerless gloves.
Do. T: "HECK YEAH! DANNY T, SPEAK ON THIS!"
Da. T: "You're about to witness the strength of 'burb knowledge."
Do. T: "KICK IT!"
Da. T: "Let me tell you something right quick Carlington. Beating me? it's Eazy'r said than Dunn- you got me?"
Do. T: "Yes!"
Da. T: "I'm straight out of Beverly Hills, you think you impress me with your double-decker buses and gloomy sky? Let me tell you something Carlington, you ever saw your friends get denied Mocha Fraps from The 'Bucks before cause there was no more two percent milk left? The struggle is real out here, it's something you wouldn't understand. I don't care how big you are and how hot of a commodity you claim to be- I'm a 'Burb Boy and it's like a firm- once you're in, you're in for life. There's a lot of things you can do that I'd let you skate on- partna, but talking down on my home- talking down on my 'hood isn't one of them. We goin' square up and I'm gonna make sure I put the sole of my shoe into your face like we used to do to those Benz driving rich boys from up the block. Ask about Taylor Gang from Rodeo, our name hold weight in the 'Burbs! London looks like Mother Nature is goin' drop a deuce on it, sorta like what's gonna happen to YOU for disrespecting where I'm from!"
Do. T: "Keep going dude!"
Da. T: "I ride through London with no vest on!"
Do. T: "Yeah!?"
Da. T: "Tech on my waist-"
Do. T: "Yeah!?"
Da. T: "I'd spray paintballs ALL over the place! Before you speak on what you don't know- you'd better ask somebody. I told everyone before- nobody move- nobody get hurt but you wanna play, so let's play. At Unstoppable you're gonna be in the presence of a G, and we're gonna throw down- bare knuckles like we did in the Fight Club in the basement of my dad's crib. Let's see how tough you and London is when you've gotta deal with an OG from Taylor Gang!"
Throwing up the West Coast hand sign by placing his ring finger over his middle- keeping that in the center he spaced out his index and pinky while tucking his thumb to form that 'W.'
Da. T: "At Unstoppable it's goin' be RUTHLESS!"
Do. T: "HECK YEAH!"
To close it all off, Danny T pulled his glock that was actually a plasti-dipped paintball gun and turned it sidewards.
Da. T: "Call me when it's gangster."
And with that said, the scene faded.
Do. T: "Uh.. Too late."
Da. T: You recording!? What?!"
Do. T: "Yep."
Da. T: "GAH NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS! That's alright we can edit it out after.. three.. two.. one.. NOW we're on!"
Donny didn't realize that the black OtterBox clip attachment for the phone was still on and wasn't recording anything. Audio was being picked up but there was zero video, just a black screen.
Da. T: "Heck yeah. Let me speak on this! YO- YO- YO.. ORALE! ARRIBA LA RRRRAAAAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAA."
Do. T: "We aren't in Mexico anymore."
Da. T: "Sheeah, I knew that! We can't forget about our loyal fans South of the Border that used to make us burritos with that tasty red sauce on it. It was kinda salty though and it's give you the runs dude, I remember I couldn't even wrestle my match because my stomach was all messed up."
Do. T: "You mean that one time they served us raw dog blood as a joke? You actually ate that?"
Da. T: "I thought it was fresh Sriracha sauce! How the hell was I supposed to know they wanted us to absorb the power of their dog Unlucky Garza?!"
Do. T: "DUDE! Nevermind what happened in Mexico, what about Dante Claude Carlington?"
Da. T: "Who's that?"
Do. T: "The dude that IC3 said you've gotta face at Unstoppable on the 18th!"
Da. T: "I thought his name was Donny this whole time, I had prepared notes on the fact that he stole my brother's name and how I was going to wage this epic war over the fact that there could only be one like Highlander except I wouldn't cut his head off- I'd just blast him in the face with a chair."
Do. T: "Good points dude but it doesn't work. You've gotta come up with something else!"
Da. T: "Something else.. Hmm.. Like.. How he sounds like he's gargling marbles when he speaks?"
Do. T: "That can work."
Da. T: "What about how people say I'M stupid when he can't even put across his thoughts without falling over his own feet?! Looooooooook dude, I never tried to say I was the smartest light bulb in the shed or anything, I know what I am and what I can do. Intelligence isn't everything- not when you're a world-class athlete like I am. I can't get a 600 on a SAT but I can do a 630 from the top rope. This is pro wrestling not the High School Chess Club- there's no freakin' pen protectors here! You're a big, bruising bastich but that don't mean nothing 'cause just like in the savannah a pack of hyenas kills a lion for fun."
Do. T: "I'm banned from ringside, remember? So is Frankie, Barrel and Theo."
Silence.. Just silence.
Do. T: "Dude? Danny bro?"
Da. T: "Why are you guys banned? That isn't fair at all! How the hell am I supposed to beat him without you guys?! I don't get paid to wrestle one on one, I'm a tag team guy! What the heck is IC3's problem, why is so he bitter? Did we send 40 pounds of gorilla crap in the mail? I thought we only did that to CM and Javen?! I don't like this match at all, it doesn't make sense- I quit!"
Do. T: "WHAT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT! WE NEED YOU!"
Da. T: "Fine dude. I quit this show!"
Do. T: "WHAT?! Dude you can't quit the show what about Frankie and Theo!? They need us to win so they've got momentum when they take on Badger and The Tryhard in the main event!"
Da. T: "WHY ARE THEY IN A TAG MATCH WHEN WE AREN'T!? ARE WE IN BIZARRO WORLD!? I'M HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK DUDE, WHERE'S THE PLASTIC BAG, I'VE GOTTA PUT IT OVER MY HEAD TO CONTROL MY BREATHING!"
Danny's heaving breathing sounded-
Da. T: "DUDE WHERE'S THE BAG?!"
Do. T: "You need a paper bag not a plastic one! You'd suffocate!"
Da. T: "I NEED SOMETHING, I FEEL LIKE TONY SPANOS WHEN THE DUCKS FLEW AWAY FROM HIS POOL, EXCEPT I DON'T EAT A LOT OF ALFREDO!"
The breathing intensified as Danny begun to jump around in place to take his mind off of things. His keys jingled in his pocket upon each jump he took.
Do. T: "CALM DOWN DUDE!"
Da. T: "I CAN'T! I NEED TO TAKE MY MIND OFF OF THIS, DANTE CLAUDE CARLINGTON IS LIKE FIVE TIMES BIGGER THAN ME, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO TO HIM?! YEAH HE CAN'T SPEAK AMERICAN CORRECTLY BUT I BET HE DRINKS BULL TESTOSTERONE STRAIGHT WITH HORSE SPUNK AS A CHASER!"
Do. T: "You've got this dude- bro, you've got this! How many times have we had to go at things alone in life!? How many times did we have to straight up jack those bullies when we were younger?! I remember you did all the work as I ate ice cream on the side! Don't discount yourself bro, you're the man! You're the man of the Taylor clan and BAM! I just rhymed.. you know why!? Because right now I don't want Danny Taylor- right now I freakin' want the badass himself- Danny T, the gangster with the old-english lettered black hat, Locs and blue flannel button down! And oh shucks- I just realized I kinda forgot to take the clip off of the phone so everything up until now wasn't recorded as a video, just audio. That's a sign Danny, GIVE US DANNY T!"
The sound of a record being spun and scratched sounded as the scene abruptly cut to a shot of Danny Taylor dressed in a blue flannel, black Dickies pants, blue Chuck Taylors, a black hat with "Beverly Hills" across the front in white old-english letters and of course Locs.. the Locs brought it all together. He also rocked a pair of black fingerless gloves.
Do. T: "HECK YEAH! DANNY T, SPEAK ON THIS!"
Da. T: "You're about to witness the strength of 'burb knowledge."
Do. T: "KICK IT!"
Da. T: "Let me tell you something right quick Carlington. Beating me? it's Eazy'r said than Dunn- you got me?"
Do. T: "Yes!"
Da. T: "I'm straight out of Beverly Hills, you think you impress me with your double-decker buses and gloomy sky? Let me tell you something Carlington, you ever saw your friends get denied Mocha Fraps from The 'Bucks before cause there was no more two percent milk left? The struggle is real out here, it's something you wouldn't understand. I don't care how big you are and how hot of a commodity you claim to be- I'm a 'Burb Boy and it's like a firm- once you're in, you're in for life. There's a lot of things you can do that I'd let you skate on- partna, but talking down on my home- talking down on my 'hood isn't one of them. We goin' square up and I'm gonna make sure I put the sole of my shoe into your face like we used to do to those Benz driving rich boys from up the block. Ask about Taylor Gang from Rodeo, our name hold weight in the 'Burbs! London looks like Mother Nature is goin' drop a deuce on it, sorta like what's gonna happen to YOU for disrespecting where I'm from!"
Do. T: "Keep going dude!"
Da. T: "I ride through London with no vest on!"
Do. T: "Yeah!?"
Da. T: "Tech on my waist-"
Do. T: "Yeah!?"
Da. T: "I'd spray paintballs ALL over the place! Before you speak on what you don't know- you'd better ask somebody. I told everyone before- nobody move- nobody get hurt but you wanna play, so let's play. At Unstoppable you're gonna be in the presence of a G, and we're gonna throw down- bare knuckles like we did in the Fight Club in the basement of my dad's crib. Let's see how tough you and London is when you've gotta deal with an OG from Taylor Gang!"
Throwing up the West Coast hand sign by placing his ring finger over his middle- keeping that in the center he spaced out his index and pinky while tucking his thumb to form that 'W.'
Da. T: "At Unstoppable it's goin' be RUTHLESS!"
Do. T: "HECK YEAH!"
To close it all off, Danny T pulled his glock that was actually a plasti-dipped paintball gun and turned it sidewards.
Da. T: "Call me when it's gangster."
And with that said, the scene faded.
