Bow Down To My Hood (A Cocheese/Vega Joint)

"Seriously, how dare you?"

Cocheese's voice is heard as the camera fades in from the Capital Crew logo and the black screen, but there's no Capital Crew sound effect. Cocheese is wearing a maroon Redskins fitted cap on backwards, a white Kirk Cousins jersey, denim shorts, socks and white Vans skate shoes. He has the MSW Heavyweight Title around his right shoulder. Theo Vega is to his left, wearing a garnet and gold number 8 Florida State Seminoles jersey, a number most recently associated with Jacksonville Jaguars DB Jalen Ramsey, along with a pair of jeans, black Nikes and of course his trademark gold chains.

It seems to be a clear day out, with the two standing on the worn concrete of a parking lot in front of a Chinese Carry-Out called Sunny's Carry-Out. The building is beige colored and aged. In fact the whole area looks like it has seen better days; the concrete is cracked, the paint on the buildings are very old. The place itself in general looks like if it was during the middle of the night, you wouldn't want to be out here...

"Badger you've got a lot of nerve. First of all, you called The United States our Nation's Capital."

Cocheese tilts his head, looking genuinely confused.

"Huh? Did I hit you too many times with that chair? Now you've got this whole big."

Cocheese uses his fingers to airquote.

"'Crusade' by walking all the way from bumfuck Missouri to MY city?! And trying to get the people of MY CITY against me?! How DARE you! Cameraman! Cameraman do me a favor and show them where we're at!"

The camera swings to behind him to a telephone pole with street signs on it reading that they're on the corner of Good Hope Road and 13th Street Southeast. They're in Anacostia, Washington DC.

The camera swings back to focus on the two.

"That's right. You guessed it. We're in the hood. We're in MY hood!" Cocheese jabs his forefinger into his chest.

"I dunno man, I think it's impressive that he's trying to get a bunch of these 40 year old virgins out from under their mothers' basements. It's like a groundhog coming up once a year to see if he can find his own shadow."

Cocheese laughs.

T.V. shrugs with a sly grin.

"I told you Badger Boy ain't stable. If he isn't walking to his own demise he's talking about breakfast? Loco boy, take a bus, take a train, take a plane like a Regular Joe because you won't have any gas in the tank by the time you make it to that ring."

T.V. fishes a cigar out from his pocket, rolling it between his fingers before inhaling the aroma of this cuban classic Montecristo #2.

"Roadkill claims I lack experience? Listen here chico, while you were chasing Washington up and down the state of Missouri after getting released from prison I've been working my tail up and down the map. Frankie and I? We dominated south of the border, our work here speaks for itself and so far we've erased every single obstacle in our way; all of us have. Now you want to stand there on your powerwalk to nowhere and claim I lack experience? Go ask Tracy, go as Logan or any of those putas I sent packing on the West Coast about experience; it wasn't one any of them enjoyed Jefe."

Cocheese nods his head in agreement when Theo Vega mentions Mexico.

"Not only did he mention inexperience, but the guy had the nerve to mention last time that he's been goin up against guys more hardcore than I ever have and I couldn't lace their boots. You remember that? Guy's a loon. How's that lookin for you now after we left you layin last week, Badger? Huh? You should KNOW me better, Badger! You should KNOW where I came from, how hardcore I am. Obviously you don't, though, since you want to talk that nonsense and then try and come to my hood. I welcome it, though, Badger. I welcome it. If you think DC.. OUR NATION'S CAPITAL... is nothing but Politicians and Monuments, you're going to be unpleasantly surprised, homie. That is, if you can get here anytime soon."

Cocheese takes a moment to look over at Theo who managed to pull out a second cigar, offering it to him with a grin as a few chuckles escape his lips.

"Motherfucker can't even afford his bus fare. It's a wonder he could even afford that breakfast at all. Or did your cameraman fit the bill on that one? You need to listen to that man, Badger. Go back to Missouri like you seem to be doing in your last video and hook up with them. Go read Sister Catherine's books in hope of a miracle because you're gonna need more than a game plan to stop the two of us! You know where Theo Vega and I are in your little breakfast scenario? We're two sausage links. We're super tight with each other, no homo, and we're the part of the meal that everyone wants to come to first. But you know what, Badger? I don't mind. I honestly don't mind being compared to an overcooked steak because honestly, the more you cook a steak, the tougher it gets and I've been in high pressure scenarios. Reeeeal pressure cookers and still came out on top. I know one of your plans already is to make our match hardcore again, but unfortunately, as you can see, my man Theo Vega doesn't have the Hardcore Title anymore..."

"What can I say, I took a siesta and when I woke up my belt was gone. I've seen little kids shoplift from under the nose of better mall cops than Roadkill and Battered Chris. Speaking of Battered Chris it must be a helluva life bumbling into defeat after defeat, beating after beating. They're a regular Pinky and the Brain; one of them tries to come up with a plan in vain while the other inevitably screws it up! And then on top of that Badger Boy managed to get a hold of his greatest nemesis to help as a favor? Chris, you realize he's doing half of our job for us, right? How can you trust a puta who broke your lady's neck? This ain't even a Crew vs Originals matter here, amigo. This is about Chris Williams, the man standing shoulder to shoulder with that sociopath? You better punch his lights out before he punks you again because even I wouldn't trust that cat!"

"I know, right? And what is Michael Smart gonna do when he comes at us anyway? Start to slowly unbutton his shirt and try to give up lapdances? Oh yeah... come over here big daddy..."

Cocheese rolls his eyes.

"As for Chris Williams. Honestly, the only thing I've been wondering about him is........ what cereal was he eating last time? I couldn't see it. Thing about ol' Pinky and the Brain there is that one is a genius and the other's insane. So I'm wondering which one is which now in the whole bring Michael Smart on board scenario because it looks like Badger is trying to fit both roles there."

T.V. pulls out his flip lighter as he strikes the flint, the flame igniting as he begins to raise the cigar up to his lips.

"Frosted Flakes. I'm pretty sure he was eating Frosted Flakes."

Cocheese's eyes go wide. He then bursts out laughing heartily and lays his left hand on Theo's shoulder.

"Oh Goddamn. God. DAMN! You roastin him! Haha! Mr. Never Back Down... backs down from buying the good stuff at the supermarket though. That generic ass stuff he had, couldn't even tell what it was. You know it was some Malt 'O Meal type shit. Cheap just like Badger. Why Smart even bothers is beyond me. Why any of you bother is beyond me because look here... you three are callin yourselves the Rabid Street Dawgs now or some shit. Three of y'all and two of us. But you see, in the two of us, you got The Eraser, you got the Toe Tagger. And you know the thing about Rabid Street Dawgs?"

"What's that, Papa?"

"They need to be put down... and we're the two men to do it. We're the only two men in the crew left, that's true, but like we said, we got this. We got this like Chuck Brown."

Just then, what sounds like a group of 4 wheelers can be heard running down the road. Their riders are young black males and they pull into the parking lot next to the two.

"So think our crew is weak now. Try to come to my city, or don't. Regardless, on the 2nd of July, we're gonna make you bow down to my hood!"

"Capital Crew is STILL in full effect!"

"See you when we see you!"