I am the Night

The night sky cascades over the city of Columbia, Missouri, the area less active than usual as the clock strikes 8:00PM. However, a few passers-by are still making their way around as their activities are being monitored by a familiar man in an unfamiliar wardrobe. From one of the tallest buildings, Robert Garland remains standing and peering down on the city below. A camera is rolling, Garland seemingly alone as he addresses the entire city of Columbia with, what he considers to be, a set of important statements.

The talk of the town is back in the spotlight... The audience enamored with the return of The Joker's Wild. The crowd chantin' for a team composed of a no-name, a liar, and the very same management that's been steppin' on my toes since day fricken one. And how does this management respond to my claims of conspiracy and their two-faced nature? Do they fake innocent like Washington or try to upkeep the illusion of impartialness? No... They just keep steppin' until these toes of mine are crippled and bleedin'! What nerve!... What ignorance! Don't they know who they're dealin' with? Don't they know that they are messin' with justice incarnate?!

It's time that I take this to the next level, and I have already figured out just the right way to do so... The Joker's Wild, your name... Your very embodiment of chaos has caused me to remember a famous fictional character of the very same identity. The notorious Clown Prince of Crime who had his own counterpart of justice to stop him at every misdeed and halt every evil plan... That's right Joker's Wild, you should already see where this story will take us. This costume? This settin'? This mission?... Tonight I show the people of Missouri, the people who cheer your names and who are the most misguided lot of sheep I have ever seen... Tonight I show them all… That I am truth! That I am justice! And, to you Joker’s Wild...

That I'm The Batman!

As Garland finishes speaking, he pulls a black cowl over his face and let's free a twisted looking smile. Garland laughs to himself as the scene makes a transition, the cameras now focused on the streets of Columbia, Missouri as a regular citizen can be seen eating a candy bar. As the citizen passes by a trash can, he lazily tosses the wrapper away as it misses the waste bin and falls to the ground. As if signaled by this, Garland appears in front of the man with his hand held out as the citizen stops in his tracks. Garland begins to talk down to the citizen, the citizen obviously weirded out by this whole situation.

Robert Garland - Halt right there evil do-er! Are you aware the litterin' is a crime?! Can you image the damage you are doin' to this planet of ours with every ounce of trash you spill haphazardly? You are one of the very worst of criminals, one that has no care or emotion in regards to his crime. What do you have to say for yourself?!

Citizen - ...I'll go pick it up?

Robert Garland - Unfortunately it is too late to bargain, you villain! Like the many evils of this world, you shall have to pay for your crimes less you'll never understand just how much each and every misdeed effects the rest of us! Much like the woman I had stopped earlier for havin' eleven items in a ten items or less, I'll have to bring my brand of swift justice to teach you right from wrong!

Garland quickly reals back and punches the man in the face, making sound effects with his mouth as he hits a few hard left hands -


As the man falls to the ground, with only minor scratches from the assault, Garland poses heroically and calls the cops on the scene while reporting the crime over a throwaway phone as the officer seems flabbergasted on the other line. Garland seems proud of himself, leaving the scene as sirens can be heard in the distance and the feed once again cuts to a man crossing the street while the traffic light is showing the "don't walk" symbol. As the man proceeds to the other side carelessly, he is also stopped by the figure of justice. Robert Garland stands waiting for him, the man confused as Garland speaks to him.

Robert Garland - This city is truly appallin'! These immeasurable crimes have been taken place for too long! You may not appreciate bein' caught you dastardly ne'er-do-well, but I'm sure you'll appreciate this down the line as your crimes are halted before they become out of control! It is my duty to distribute punishment for any and every crime! And, much like the old lady that I left in front of the police station for lettin' her grandson buy a video game rated thirteen plus... You too shall feel the iron fist of the law as I bring down the hammer on your misdeeds!

Citizen - Look man, I'm just tryin'a get home! Can't you jus' take this Halloween nonsense somewhere else?

Robert Garland - No can do, crime creator! You see, it is up to people like me to bring balance to the powers that be! It is up to people like me to show the truth and halt the injustices that plague our lives every wakin' moment. You see, it all begins at somethin' like ignorin' a traffic signal, jaywalkin', and even walkin' off the sidewalk! Before you know it, people like you are runnin' a local mafia! Criminals like you are sellin' weapons and prostitutes to kids! People like you are puttin' themselves in positions to hurt others as they get away with their plans without anyone standin' in their way!

Humans like you... Ignorant bastards like you are the ones who have wronged people like me in the past thanks to the many actions you have taken bein' let go without punishment! If there was no one to do this service that I am performin', than all would be lost in this world! If there was no one to take a stand against the wrong-do'ers of this world, than the underhanded natures of the real bad guys could never be brought to light! You see citizen... This is for your own good!

Much like before, Garland knocks the man out cold. Before reporting the crime, he stops in his tracks as he notices yet another man near the scene. As the man watches from a distance, Garland turns his attention to him. Garland notices the pocket full of drugs and the other full of money, the man lookin' on before callin' out.

Drug Dealer - Garland?

Robert Garland - Hey Steve! How's business been goin' for you?

The man seems to relax, Garland once again posing heroically before the conversation continues...

Drug Dealer - Eh, the usual. What the hell are you doing anyway?

With a smile once again being shown on Garland's face, the self proclaimed hero readies a response. Steve waits patiently, Garland seemingly about to deliver a speech...

Robert Garland - I am doin' my part to protect these sheeple who have seem to have lost the ability to protect themselves! These countless numbers of people who have fallen for the tricks and traps of the evils of this world... The evils that whisper their sweet nothin's and persuade each and every person that they are the good guys while they force ostracization on the real heroes while treatin' the ones who really care as the outcasts of this world!

I am doin' my part to stop these creatures of darkness at every turn! I am workin' to expose their misguidance by showin' the entire audience of puppets that their true intentions are not of the betterment of this society, but of the betterment of themselves! And, above all else, I am makin' my rounds tonight to show of these townsfolk that there is still a hero left in man! There is still a force for good who is lookin' out for them as he makes his stand against the tyrants of the corporations and the lies of its representatives! And when I get my hands on the Joker's Wild, Steve... In front of these uninformed and blind consumers... I will make my stance known as I rip them apart for their treachery! I will stand in the ring and show them up as their mission to continue their acts of deceit will be stopped completely once I stand tall over their unconscious bodies!


Drug Dealer - ...You sure you kicked this stuff Garland? You seem more whacked out than usual.

Before Garland can answer, one of his many throwaway phones begins to ring. Garland quickly answers, ignoring Steve's presence as he seems once again ready for action.

Robert Garland - Alfred! What is it?! Do you have any new information on recent crimes!? And what of Robin? Has he shown up yet?! Have they captured him!? The bastards! I knew The Joker's Wild's appearance would be bad for business, but I never thought they would go this far this quickly!

Travis Rech - Ah tried ta get 'em... Batman. But, Chris, er... Robin said 'e wasn't gonna run 'round at night in some stupid costume. Said he'd rather be preparin' fer the upcomin' match-up an' suggested ya do tha same. 'E said that if tha two o' ya are gonna keep teamin' togetha, than ya gotta get yer head on straight and focus on Frank Washington while he takes care of the others. Robin let me know that he agrees that these scumbags need to be taught a lesson... But 'e also said 'e's not one hundred percent on board with tha way ya seem ta be handlin' things.

Whadda'ya say ya make yer way back 'ere Batman? Ah think ya might've made yer point bah now, don't ya? Ya can get some deserved rest after yer night of heavy crime fightin'.

As Garland goes to reply, his attention is once again caught while a car passes by and a scowl wipes over his face. Garland quickly hangs up the phone after mentioning to Rech that justice never sleeps and that he will be home shortly. As Steve remains in sight, Garland turns back to him and finishes their conversation with a couple of last sentences...

Robert Garland - I've gotta go, Steve! That man just performed a rollin' stop before speedin' away!

With that, Garland runs down the street and begins to chase the vehicle. Steve seems to shake his head as Garland lets his cape flap freely behind him.

Drug Dealer - That boy ain't right...