Feedback?

Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou're An Insecured... Oh never mind just kidding. Who am I to judge ya ? lol
Anyway doing a good job with it so far. Keep it up.

Nah, you're good man.. I actually appreciated what you said. I honestly don't even think about doing the narration half the time. Most of the time I go in thinking I'm going to do a just a regular scene description and then two seconds in, I start doing the internal dialogue.. I honestly don't know where it comes from lol.

But, I'll take it into consideration! Also, the way I see it, at the end of the day, this is a wrestling game.. So, I don't really ever focus too much on the outside stuff and just stick to strictly writing a straight up promo, instead of all the fluff.

I like the narration style you use and Williams is wrong. I feel like the narration is more of an enhancer to the already large ego of Silas Romero. Look at the way Frank Debauchee uses his narration, I feel you use it in much the same way. The one criticism I do have is a criticism I have for most people. I'm not a fan of the whole "you don't know me, you don't know what I've been through" approach that people use, and in your first promo from US 21 (the one I'm basing this criticism on) I noticed a bit of that. Not to say that it can't be used ever. I may be disillusioned by it because I literally saw it in every promo on the Aimoo circuit. I'd like to see Silas show some weakness at some point so that monsters like Barrel look more convincing. Not to say you should be cowering in your boots, but I'd like to see just a sliver more of doubt in the mind of Silas Romero for big guys. I use this comparison quite often because I feel like the Manami Toyota / Aja Kong feud exemplified the way small wrestlers should handle larger opponents. Toyota would be nervous around Kong, but still fight to win. She would power out of pins by using her leg strength to bridge out of the pin. 

Silas is a big man with a lot of weight on him, however Barrel was significantly bigger. So the rolling elbow should be a hard move for you to pull off. It would have been neat if that height difference was acknowledged as a weakness for Romero and have him tell Barrel how he could knock him the fuck out despite the height difference. That's literally the only thing I could come up with. Your promos are pretty solid. WAR should be fun. 

In summary, how would I rate this promo?




Yep, that's about right. 

I love Silas, huge mark. The batman reference was golden and his ability to pick apart the inconsistency of other people's promos makes him witty and verbally dangerous. He has this pitbull demeanor about him.

My only criticism is the constant swearing. After about the fifth "fuck" I feel it starts to compromise the integrity of the piece. I get he's edgy but in all honesty? I don't think you need it to empathize what you're saying. The quality of your writing stands out by itself.

Stay golden Pony Boy.