Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2014 1:05:02 GMT -6
Stupid moves are something Johnny B. knows a lot about.
For the longest time, The Johnny was unofficially retired and basically MIA. He didn't need to wrestle anymore if he didn't want to, and this sentiment remained in place until he joined [redacted]. To this day, he remains a major player in [redacted], but he thought it might be time to try something new. Now, he's still under contract with [redacted], and he has no plans on leaving, but the way he figures it, an independent contractor like him can - and will - go wherever he pleased, regardless of if it bothered anyone or not. In that same regard, he reserves the right to pick up and head off down the ol' dusty trail when he's no longer enjoying himself.
Or he gets f*cked up, whichever happens first.
On the suggestion of someone he doesn't even get along with that he met in [redacted] (i.e.: Bryan York), he decided to take a peek at MSW. Missouri State Wrestling is founded by someone whose name sounds very familiar to The Johnny, only he can't put his finger on from where and when. He also paid that thought hardly any further mind, as he can't recall whether it's the whole name or just the last name that rings a very faint bell.
So, not familiar at all, really.
At any rate, our story today opens at the Missouri Botanical Garden in St. Louis. Several shots of beautiful foliage are shown: lush local greenery and exotic tropical flowers catch the eyes the most. But there's some shitty-looking trees, probably sick or something.
This is where we find the man of the hour, the man in question, the several egocentric titles thrown in to make the guy look good... Johnny B.!
Yes, that Johnny B..
He doesn't look impressed at his surroundings, but that's his problem.
Johnny B.: "So... this is Saint Loo-ee, huh? This here's some f*ckin' garden attraction or something? Well, who's taking care of these things here? They're like, covered in bugs and shit! Is this what I've agreed to be a part of? Fuuuuuckin' Hell."
He kicks the tree, and several bugs rain down on him, causing him to shriek and jump back. He tries to brush himself off, looking like he wants to kick the shit out of the tree.
Johnny B.: "I paid $8 American to come here! Eight! f*cking! Dollars!!! Why?!"
He sighs and begins to stroll down a path leading to nicer plants. He still doesn't look impressed. Carefully scrutinizing each leaf and petal, he snaps a twig off, eyeballs it, and with a look of disgust shakes his head and tosses it away before moving along. A couple strolling close by look at the stranger oddly. After whispering to each other, the guy carefully walks up to JBC.
Some Guy: "Hey, aren't you, uh..."
The Johnny rolls his eyes and gives a knowing chuckle.
Johnny B.: "Yes, yes, I am. So, what, you want an autograph or something?"
Some Guy: "Hey, yeah! Of course!"
He runs back, says something to his lady, and returns with a pen and scrap paper. The Johnny snatches them out of his hand.
Johnny B.: "All right! So, who'm I makin' this out to?"
Some Guy: "Oh, uh, make it out to Some Guy."
Johnny B.: "How original."
The Johnny works his John Hancock magic on what was once a measly worthless piece of scrap, then hands it and the pen back. The guy excitedly and respectfully leaves Johnny, looking over his priceless autograph.
Some Guy: "Hey, thanks so much... uh..."
He then has a look of confusion on his face, which replaces itself with a look of someone who's just been majorly cheated. He looks back at Johnny and holds out both hands what-the-Hell style.
Johnny B.: "Yeah? Your girl wants one too? What?"
Some Guy: "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Johnny takes a defensive stance, as if the guy's sudden brazen behaviour doesn't sit well with him, and he might be overdue for a proper thrashing.
Johnny B.: "The f*ck's your beef, bub?"
Some Guy: "What's with the name you wrote on here?"
Now it's The Johnny's turn to look confused.
Johnny B.: "The name I wrote there? It's my f*ckin' name, son! J to the B to the C! Jizzohnny Bizzonecrizzusher! Canada represent, dawg, yo!"
The guy looks both annoyed and disappointed, and crumples up the autograph, throwing it at Johnny.
Some Guy: "I thought you were Paul Giamatti!!"
Johnny's eyes widen as he looks down at the crumpled autograph and then back at the guy.
Johnny B.: "What in the f*ck!!"
Some Guy: "What are you, some wrestler with that shitty name?! Get the f*ck out of here!"
Now, Johnny is officially appalled and insulted. He begins to chase after the guy, who's now regretting his bravado. He winds up hiding behind his girlfriend, which forces JBC to grind to a halt. She looks pretty frightened, but also pretty offended her "hero" started shit he knew full well he couldn't finish. Johnny clenches his fist and glares at the guy for a few more moments before he backs off.
Johnny B.: "f*ck off, I got work ta do!"
Though it's him that leaves the area. He does get a kick out of hearing the girlfriend giving the guy an earful as he walks away.
Shaking his head as he heads to another area, he comes across a tree, and kicks it. Bugs fall out of it on him; it's the same tree from earlier: he backtracked in his rage!
Groaning in disgust, he brushes himself off again and sighs.
Johnny B.: "Well... I guess it's just like they say: Missouri loves company..."
Then, the scene fades to black after a close-up shot of his defeated visage.
For the longest time, The Johnny was unofficially retired and basically MIA. He didn't need to wrestle anymore if he didn't want to, and this sentiment remained in place until he joined [redacted]. To this day, he remains a major player in [redacted], but he thought it might be time to try something new. Now, he's still under contract with [redacted], and he has no plans on leaving, but the way he figures it, an independent contractor like him can - and will - go wherever he pleased, regardless of if it bothered anyone or not. In that same regard, he reserves the right to pick up and head off down the ol' dusty trail when he's no longer enjoying himself.
Or he gets f*cked up, whichever happens first.
On the suggestion of someone he doesn't even get along with that he met in [redacted] (i.e.: Bryan York), he decided to take a peek at MSW. Missouri State Wrestling is founded by someone whose name sounds very familiar to The Johnny, only he can't put his finger on from where and when. He also paid that thought hardly any further mind, as he can't recall whether it's the whole name or just the last name that rings a very faint bell.
So, not familiar at all, really.
At any rate, our story today opens at the Missouri Botanical Garden in St. Louis. Several shots of beautiful foliage are shown: lush local greenery and exotic tropical flowers catch the eyes the most. But there's some shitty-looking trees, probably sick or something.
This is where we find the man of the hour, the man in question, the several egocentric titles thrown in to make the guy look good... Johnny B.!
Yes, that Johnny B..
He doesn't look impressed at his surroundings, but that's his problem.
Johnny B.: "So... this is Saint Loo-ee, huh? This here's some f*ckin' garden attraction or something? Well, who's taking care of these things here? They're like, covered in bugs and shit! Is this what I've agreed to be a part of? Fuuuuuckin' Hell."
He kicks the tree, and several bugs rain down on him, causing him to shriek and jump back. He tries to brush himself off, looking like he wants to kick the shit out of the tree.
Johnny B.: "I paid $8 American to come here! Eight! f*cking! Dollars!!! Why?!"
He sighs and begins to stroll down a path leading to nicer plants. He still doesn't look impressed. Carefully scrutinizing each leaf and petal, he snaps a twig off, eyeballs it, and with a look of disgust shakes his head and tosses it away before moving along. A couple strolling close by look at the stranger oddly. After whispering to each other, the guy carefully walks up to JBC.
Some Guy: "Hey, aren't you, uh..."
The Johnny rolls his eyes and gives a knowing chuckle.
Johnny B.: "Yes, yes, I am. So, what, you want an autograph or something?"
Some Guy: "Hey, yeah! Of course!"
He runs back, says something to his lady, and returns with a pen and scrap paper. The Johnny snatches them out of his hand.
Johnny B.: "All right! So, who'm I makin' this out to?"
Some Guy: "Oh, uh, make it out to Some Guy."
Johnny B.: "How original."
The Johnny works his John Hancock magic on what was once a measly worthless piece of scrap, then hands it and the pen back. The guy excitedly and respectfully leaves Johnny, looking over his priceless autograph.
Some Guy: "Hey, thanks so much... uh..."
He then has a look of confusion on his face, which replaces itself with a look of someone who's just been majorly cheated. He looks back at Johnny and holds out both hands what-the-Hell style.
Johnny B.: "Yeah? Your girl wants one too? What?"
Some Guy: "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Johnny takes a defensive stance, as if the guy's sudden brazen behaviour doesn't sit well with him, and he might be overdue for a proper thrashing.
Johnny B.: "The f*ck's your beef, bub?"
Some Guy: "What's with the name you wrote on here?"
Now it's The Johnny's turn to look confused.
Johnny B.: "The name I wrote there? It's my f*ckin' name, son! J to the B to the C! Jizzohnny Bizzonecrizzusher! Canada represent, dawg, yo!"
The guy looks both annoyed and disappointed, and crumples up the autograph, throwing it at Johnny.
Some Guy: "I thought you were Paul Giamatti!!"
Johnny's eyes widen as he looks down at the crumpled autograph and then back at the guy.
Johnny B.: "What in the f*ck!!"
Some Guy: "What are you, some wrestler with that shitty name?! Get the f*ck out of here!"
Now, Johnny is officially appalled and insulted. He begins to chase after the guy, who's now regretting his bravado. He winds up hiding behind his girlfriend, which forces JBC to grind to a halt. She looks pretty frightened, but also pretty offended her "hero" started shit he knew full well he couldn't finish. Johnny clenches his fist and glares at the guy for a few more moments before he backs off.
Johnny B.: "f*ck off, I got work ta do!"
Though it's him that leaves the area. He does get a kick out of hearing the girlfriend giving the guy an earful as he walks away.
Shaking his head as he heads to another area, he comes across a tree, and kicks it. Bugs fall out of it on him; it's the same tree from earlier: he backtracked in his rage!
Groaning in disgust, he brushes himself off again and sighs.
Johnny B.: "Well... I guess it's just like they say: Missouri loves company..."
Then, the scene fades to black after a close-up shot of his defeated visage.