Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2014 23:28:20 GMT -6
SINGLES MATCH - Tournament Qualifier
Johnny B. Vs Hunter McKnight
So no sooner does he join MSW, that Johnny B. gets not only a match on the next Unstoppable show, but a tournament qualifying match to boot!
Only... a tournament for what?
Our scene opens up backstage... backstage where, you may ask? At a local venue putting on a free forum on union reform in the public schools. Because it was a free event, Johnny convinced Robert Fields to meet him there and sneak backstage to interview him for his match at Unstoppable. This almost didn't happen, since Robert had no clue who this Johnny B. character even was. A bit of research revealed that he was one of the MSW's latest acquisitions, and quite the brazen one to expect him to know who he was! After shouting at Robert on the phone for 20 minutes, the ever-professional interviewer showed up anyway.
Robert Fields: "Folks, umm, today we're joined by Missouri State Wrestling newcomer Johnny Bonescrusher."
Johnny B.: "That's Bonecrusher, dammit! Bonecrusher!!"
Robert Fields: "Ah, yes, my apologies Mr. Bonecrusher. So, we're here backstage at-"
Johnny B.: "Juuuust never you miiiind where we are, folks at home! Rest assured, it's a big venue. Big! Rhymes with Gladison Pear Harden! Don't be jealous."
Robert Fields: "...Right. Well, anyway, first off, welcome to the MSW! How have you enjoyed your stay so far?"
Johnny B.: "Not very well at all. I am very dissatisfied with the quality of the flora in your national parks."
Robert Fields: "Uhh."
Johnny B.: "Look, you asked me to come here today,..."
Robert Fields: "You called me!"
Johnny B.: "You... asked me... to come here today... TO TALK TO ME ABOUT WHAT?!"
Robert Fields: "Sigh... at the next Unstoppable, you'll be squaring off against another newcomer to the company, a man by the name of Hunter McKnight."
Johnny B.: "Oh, so you get his name right!"
Robert Fields: "...And it's a tournament qualifier, the winner to be crowned the first-ever MSW Champion! Being thrown into a match with such major implications right off the bat, what sort of mindset does that put a Johnny B. in?"
Johnny B.: "Robert... God dammit, look: The Johnny's been wrasslin' for like, 15 years now. Since 1999. That means I've been wrestling since the last millennium! I've done it all and then some in this business - and believe me when I tell you that that's a line you'll hear me repeat, because I have done it all! Every aspect of professional wrestling's been experienced by Yours Truly. So among those roles, sure, I've been known to hold a title or two. Now, there is a gag order in place in this promotion to not talk about other promotions, so you'll just have trust me on this one. I mean, sure, I could just make up shit in that case, but trust me: no shit needed to be made up by this guy, man."
Robert Fields: "And your opponent?"
Johnny B.: "What about him? You want me to talk about some big ol' Texan bohunk? To be honest, I don't know shit about Brian McKnight."
Robert Fields: "Hunter McKnight."
Johnny B.: "Why don't you just marry him then?! So... I don't know shit about Hunter McKnight like I said. To me, he just seems like some big dude, maybe a former football player, got injured, thought getting into pro-wrestling was a safer alternative, a shoo-in, if you will, trained a bit with some former WWE shlub, and was relegated to the dreaded Indies. Maybe he has a few preliminary matches under his belt, and now he's being thrown into the biggest deal of his short wrestling career thus far.
But to me, it's no big deal. And I can't consider Hunter a big deal either. Oh sure, he could be a decent guy, maybe even respects the sport. He could be nice and friendly and respectful and wants to learn more. He could be a cool guy to hang out with, have a beer with at the bar after work and talk about the good ol' days when wrasslers were wrasslers, dammit! He could be all those things...
...But it still isn't gonna stop me from trying to kick that motherf*ckin' ass!"
Robert Fields: "Hey! Watch it! The FCC's gonna be on our ass!"
Johnny B.: "Ass! You just said it too! Anyway, the FCC's gonna have a lot more on their plate than some f*cks and shits, son! When I'm through with Hunter McKnight, they're gonna straight up be collabing with the PTC, in association with the EMTs, the FDAs, and the DDTs, I don't give a f*ck! All the letters in the alphabet're gonna wanna get involved in the butchery that'll ensue at Unstoppable!
I'm Johnny B., and I approve this f*ckin' message! Trick!"
And before Robert can say anything more, Johnny just storms off. Moments later, a gaggle of protesters flood the area, Robert getting enveloped by their boisterousness.
End.