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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 9:42:09 GMT -6
Hey guys. So the debut roleplay i just put p is my first true roleplay in years. I was wondering what you guys thought. i tried to keep it short and sweet. This is a brand new character for me, first rolpelay ive ever done in this role. Usually i play a lively up beat character so im looking to go in a different direction with this one.
Anyway, feedback would be appreciated. My goal is to keep him mysterious and reveal small things about his past as i progress him. Can you guys ive me some insight as to what you took from his debut? What you felt while reading it maybe?
Thanks
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 11:49:47 GMT -6
I thought it was well thought out. I like how you are keeping him mysterious and all of that. It adds intrigue to the person, also it wants you to read more. Good work.
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Post by Kaiser on Mar 21, 2014 13:19:13 GMT -6
He is eerie; I already got a feel of this guy appearing out of nowhere with this eloquent way of speaking. He's going to be a welcome treat to the roster. Well written, well thought out, and well executed.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2014 16:55:14 GMT -6
love the lead in rp you did.. except for the huge font type.. story was cool.. just not the presentation I prefer.. It takes away from the story
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2014 21:10:36 GMT -6
Lmao yea i didnt realize the font would be so big hahahahahaha
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 3:48:32 GMT -6
And that is why we use the preview button  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 7:56:52 GMT -6
Previews are for squares
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 8:09:08 GMT -6
For the record, every time I've tried to preview something before I posted it, the preview wouldn't work.
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Post by Frank Washington on Mar 26, 2014 15:28:31 GMT -6
You got a promising future around here if you keep it up. Great way to debut although the font was a bit big. I know what its like to be away from the game for a while, I was gone for the better part of 2 years until 2013 rolled around. Just keep at it, sometimes the time away allows you to grow into a better writer when you return and I'm going to say it'll be the case for you as well.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 20:53:53 GMT -6
For real! I found my old roleplays the other day. I was reading through them and they were terrible hahahaha. I remember thinking back then and wondering why I was stuck as a lower level champion and not really making it up the ladder. Now I know why. My stuff was so generic and wasnt well thought out at all. This time around im trying to basically write a story (the book of neforian) as development roleplays and then cut seperate promos for my matches. Back in the day i used to roll them all into one. I had very little development
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 20:55:00 GMT -6
Ive been out since 2005 lol
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2014 23:01:18 GMT -6
I think it's quite interesting. It reminds me of Falling Down, if you know what I mean. Hopefully you plan on continuing this story. The formatting is just fine, by the way.
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