Post by Chris Alans on Feb 11, 2014 0:38:24 GMT -6
{Chris Alans}
I am an All-Pro in this industry. I’ve wrestled all around the southern United States from San Antonio to Knoxville to Miami; this Brick Wall cannot be stopped!
The camera pans around as we see Chris Alans dressed in his lime green zoot suit with a brick pattern tie and a lime green fedora. Behind him was the entrance to The Olive Garden in Monterey, California a job he had been working steadily at to pad his paycheck while the independents weren’t calling. It had been a few years since he wrestled on the circuit until recently when he had a fateful encounter with MSW’s own Danny Stevenson who offered him a job after he finished his dinner. Having just recently finished his shift Chris Alans was back in his life uniform as it were, his flashing his own personal sense of style even though it made many people roll their eyes and laugh.
{Chris Alans}
I knew it would only be a matter of time before a company would have the sense to hire the hottest name in all of sports entertainment. I mean look at me, look at this heavenly physique.
Chris Alans strikes a “magnificent” pose outstretching his arms and flexing, thankfully the zoot suit hid some of the extra weight he piled on over the years away from the gym.
{Chris Alans}
Now you look at this heavenly body and tell me you wouldn’t want a piece of this! Danny Stevenson made the smartest decision of his life by signing me to his promotion and everyone in Missouri should be thankful to be graced by The Prince of Perfection! I may not have all the fancy accolades like some people but when it comes to experience? You’ll find none better than me! When you square off against me I’m God and you’re in MY domain, a pack of mere mortals who can’t hope to hold a candle to me. To all the young little punks on the roster looking to make names for themselves I will squash all of you and devour you quicker than a tub of Suzuki Mustard!
A customer quizzically looks at Chris Alans, the 20 something year old Asian American male looks at Chris Alans like he’s crazy. Apparently the customer was listening in the whole time.
{Customer}
Suzuki…Mustard? Dude are you nuts, why would Suzuki make mustard? Do you even know anything about Suzuki? You know they make motorcycles and cars like Honda…
{Chris Alans}
SHUT UP! You think you’re funny? Does it look like I’m laughing?! When you speak that Asian crap all I hear is Suzuki Mustard!
{Customer}
What’s the matter with you man? You’re some bitter middle aged man who missed his shot to achieve his dream and you run me down because I’m Asian? Because I actually know what the hell Suzuki produces and sells? Do you even have a shred of intelligence in that brick head of yours?
{Chris Alans}
You ignorant little shit! How DARE you talk to the Prince of Perfection like this, how dare you keep spouting Suzuki Mustard crap out me how dare you…
Alans is abruptly cut off as a big booming voice can be heard coming from an open window at the Olive Garden.
{Booming Voice}
CHRISTOPHER ALANS GET IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!
Chris Alans winces and grabs his ears as the customer starts laughing his ass off.
{Chris Alans}
Now look at the trouble you got me in you ignorant little slant…
{Booming Voice}
NOW!
Chris Alans quickly runs inside the building like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs.
{Customer}
Serves you right.
I am an All-Pro in this industry. I’ve wrestled all around the southern United States from San Antonio to Knoxville to Miami; this Brick Wall cannot be stopped!
The camera pans around as we see Chris Alans dressed in his lime green zoot suit with a brick pattern tie and a lime green fedora. Behind him was the entrance to The Olive Garden in Monterey, California a job he had been working steadily at to pad his paycheck while the independents weren’t calling. It had been a few years since he wrestled on the circuit until recently when he had a fateful encounter with MSW’s own Danny Stevenson who offered him a job after he finished his dinner. Having just recently finished his shift Chris Alans was back in his life uniform as it were, his flashing his own personal sense of style even though it made many people roll their eyes and laugh.
{Chris Alans}
I knew it would only be a matter of time before a company would have the sense to hire the hottest name in all of sports entertainment. I mean look at me, look at this heavenly physique.
Chris Alans strikes a “magnificent” pose outstretching his arms and flexing, thankfully the zoot suit hid some of the extra weight he piled on over the years away from the gym.
{Chris Alans}
Now you look at this heavenly body and tell me you wouldn’t want a piece of this! Danny Stevenson made the smartest decision of his life by signing me to his promotion and everyone in Missouri should be thankful to be graced by The Prince of Perfection! I may not have all the fancy accolades like some people but when it comes to experience? You’ll find none better than me! When you square off against me I’m God and you’re in MY domain, a pack of mere mortals who can’t hope to hold a candle to me. To all the young little punks on the roster looking to make names for themselves I will squash all of you and devour you quicker than a tub of Suzuki Mustard!
A customer quizzically looks at Chris Alans, the 20 something year old Asian American male looks at Chris Alans like he’s crazy. Apparently the customer was listening in the whole time.
{Customer}
Suzuki…Mustard? Dude are you nuts, why would Suzuki make mustard? Do you even know anything about Suzuki? You know they make motorcycles and cars like Honda…
{Chris Alans}
SHUT UP! You think you’re funny? Does it look like I’m laughing?! When you speak that Asian crap all I hear is Suzuki Mustard!
{Customer}
What’s the matter with you man? You’re some bitter middle aged man who missed his shot to achieve his dream and you run me down because I’m Asian? Because I actually know what the hell Suzuki produces and sells? Do you even have a shred of intelligence in that brick head of yours?
{Chris Alans}
You ignorant little shit! How DARE you talk to the Prince of Perfection like this, how dare you keep spouting Suzuki Mustard crap out me how dare you…
Alans is abruptly cut off as a big booming voice can be heard coming from an open window at the Olive Garden.
{Booming Voice}
CHRISTOPHER ALANS GET IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!
Chris Alans winces and grabs his ears as the customer starts laughing his ass off.
{Chris Alans}
Now look at the trouble you got me in you ignorant little slant…
{Booming Voice}
NOW!
Chris Alans quickly runs inside the building like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs.
{Customer}
Serves you right.