Post by Deleted on May 25, 2014 14:36:56 GMT -6
The sun is beating down hot as hell as up on a hill on his trusty stead Pinto is Yugo Phailous who takes his black cowboy hat off and wipes the sweat from his forehead with the back of his forearm and slips his hat back on. Down below in a field is a herd of beef cattle taking a break from the drive eating grass and huddling around a small creek of ice cold water. They aren't the only ones who are refilling either. Yugo has found shade under a oak tree for Pinto and himself. He reaches down and picks up his water canteen and slowly unscrews the cap to it.
"It's hot as hell here on the prairie. No relief from the sun other than this old oak tree here and I'm surprised it's still standing with all of the tornados that have been tearing up the country side here lately."
Yugo takes a sip of water from his round leather encased canteen.
"Those things form and just wreck everything in sight. Kinda like me when your old lady is out on a date with me. I rush in and lay complete devastation to her country side."
Yugo leans forward in the saddle
"If you know what I mean and I think you do."
Yugo takes another sip of water.
"But today is not the day to sit here on my trusty horse looking over the future meat patties of America down there. Nor is it to brag about my conquest at the local honky tonk where I left every chick in that damn place screaming my name. Nor is it time to sit here and rub dirt in Chad Vargas' gapping wounds from our last meeting in which he and Banks felt how it was to taste defeat from the hands of the most deadliest tag team to ever grace the great state of Missouri. Okay so Missouri isn't that great after all but neither is Chad Vargas. No today.....today is the first day in which everyone in the MSW will have to step aside and make way for the future tag team champions. Because, Johnny and I......."
Yugo takes a sip of water. He takes his eyes off the cattle for a second to glance in the direction of the camera.
"It's a foregone conclusion that Johnny and I will be the MSW tag team champions and there is no denying that. You can't dispute that. You can't argue that fact. Listen. You can break into Chad Vargas's imaginary garage, jimmy every door open on his make believe hot rods there, hot wire them, race them, loose control and wrap every damn one of them around a telephone pole and it still won't matter. Johnny, Yugo, The Mob of Death will crush this tag team tournament into submission and we will own those tag team titles. And unlike the claims that the fans have flooded to Missouri to see the Confederate Icon...."
Yugo leans forwards and puts his hand to the side of his mouth.
"No one is rushing to watch that bum and he ain't no icon either."
Yugo leans back in his saddle
"We will win this tournament leaving everyone with tears in their eyes knowing that their best wasn't good enough to best us. The path has been laid out and it is marked just like the path these beasts of burdens are making right now. They are marching to their deaths and they know it. Soon they will be ground up into hamburger and cooked to 160 degrees and there isn't a damn thing they can do about it. For Johnny and I."
Yugo takes another sip of water.
"We see the path and every team that lays in our way and all of em combined can't stop us. It starts with St. Tuck and Pornstar Ron and those two have about as much luck in winning as Chad Vargas has in stopping his second cousin, err I mean wife with leaving with his brother. In fact I would place a wager that Pornstar Ron has a better odds in a making a flick with Chad Vargas than in beating us."
Yugo leans forward in his saddle towards the camera
"And if you don't like me saying this shit Vargas then maybe you should dig around in your pants and find your sack and nut up son. You talk a ton of shit but can't back none of it. I'm Yugo Phailous....your judge, your jury and your executioner. There is a death warrant issued on your dumb ass and I aim to claim it."
Yugo leans back in the saddle and takes one more sip of water and screws the cap back on his canteen.
"It's the end of the line for St. Tuck and Ronny boy. The storm clouds are rolling over the plains and they are getting darker the closer they get. You hear the thunder and soon you will feel the lightening as you are struck down by the most dominate, deadliest tag team to ever step in a MSW ring. You can't stop the Mob and like taxes, Death is the only guarantee you get in life. Step aside or perish for I am Yugo Phailous....."
Yugo picks up the reigns to his trusty horse Pinto.
"For I am the grim reaper.....and death is following me."
Fade out.
