The Genesis (Unstoppable IX RP #1)

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Wow! What a wild episode of Unstoppable last week, huh? The tag-team tournament got underway, The Boneyard had it's first show, and two - count 'em - two number one contenders to Bryce Manning's MSW Championship were... I dunno, can you say "crowned" at an intangible title? Ah well.

This coming up show, Unstoppable IX, continues much in the way of major... osity... It's MSW's fourth lunaversary, which is apparently a thing. Most wrestling promotions don't get past their second or third lunaversary... allegedly. Besides that, there's the continuation of the tag-team tournament, and... uhh... surely things will be setting themselves up more for the next super card, Back to Basics next month. I don't fuckin' know! Why don't you write this role-play if you think you can do better!!

So! Now to get serious. While at the big V-I-I-I, the tandem without a name, aka Yugo Phailous and Johnny B. managed to defeat the already-established team of Saint Tuck and Pornstar Ron (I blame it on their inability to follow through with promises of tales of their own), I-X brings a challenge of a different horse... of a... different... colour... yeah...

Long story short, this match marks the first battle in the war between Peyton and Co. vrs. Neforian and Co. (Assuming Peyton-Neforian at Best of the Best was the Preface, making this, what, Chapter One, I guess?), when our, for lack of a better term, "heroes" square off against the dreaded, vile, insidious, evil, wretched, abominable, gruesome, brutal, merciless, fucking shitheads called Dante and Virgil - The Apocalypse.

Now, some people think their name is some nod to some video game no one's heard of. Yeah. Right. No, it's more likely a reference to, uh, you know, literature? The Divine Comedy? Read a book!!!

Eat shit, that was not a Tick reference!

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Our scene begins today in a dark room. There is silence. The kind of silence that permeates the very soul.

No, wait, I meant there's darkness. The kind of darkness that permeates the very soul.

Not that there's not silence too. The main point I was trying to get across though, was the darkness. The kind of darkness that... you know.

I'd like to seriously stress the levels of darkness and silence being experienced here are astounding. This is some primally scary shit here, if you really think about it. Don't front and say you're not scared of the dark and of quiet. If you say that, you're just telling everyone that you're a liar. Lying liar! Lying liar!!!

Then, a spotlight sound simultaneously brings about said spotlight. Well, I guess light travels at the speed of, well, light, and sound at the speed of sound, so no, I guess it's not simultaneously. You see the spotlight shine and then you heard the sound of a spotlight turning on. Happy now, science?!

Revealed at the base of the brilliant pillar of light is a man sitting in a chair. A very sinister chair. The kind of chair that permeates the soul. And the man, a foreboding man. The kind of man who beats dead horses.

Johnny B.: "...And then, The Johnny said 'Hey, turn the fuckin' lights on for fuck's sake!', and it was good."

He smirks in the sort of way that makes you want to punch him. He rests his elbow on his knee and rests his chin on his hand.

Johnny B.: "Apocalypse. Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Apocalypse! The more I say your name, the sicker it makes me! Apocalypse!!! Fucking Apocalypse and their dumb faces and their shitty attitudes and their poor sportsmanship and their asshole boss! I bet right now, as we speak, they're talking some crazy bullshit about Yugo and me. Something about chaos, disorder and panic. I dunno, maybe something about how hot shit they are, talk in unison, hold hands, listen, I don't give a fuck about your sexuality! This is the 21st Century; that's neither shocking or controversial or anyone's business. It's tired. It's played out. This ain't the -redacted-, so you two should stop trying so hard."

Another smaller spotlight reveals a portrait on an easel. The image is of both Dante and Virgil. Johnny turns to examine the portrait, slowly getting out of his chair and moseying on over to it.

Johnny B.: "You see these guys? Look at 'em! Have you ever seen a more perfect pair of assholes in your life? ...Fucking Apocalypse... I just - I just hate them so much!!! You two deluded shitheads!!! Fuck you! Fuck! Youuuu!!!"

He then freaks the fuck out on the portrait and easel, first booting it to the ground, then hoisting up the easel and smashing it to the ground with tremendous force brought forth by irrational, unbridled rage. He throws some pieces of the easel into the darkness from whence they came. He then snatches up the portrait, shakes it violently, and takes a bite out of it, spitting out the pieces to the floor. He tears the remainder of the portrait into shreds.

Moments later, he starts to calm back down, and eases back into his chair.

Johnny B.: "God, I hate those guys..."

He rests his head in his hand, eyes shut. Breathing returning to a normal pace. Hate remains. Hate remains. The Apocalypse have sinned the greatest sin Mankind has ever sinned. The disdain they have for him is dwarfed - dwarfed! - by The Johnny's disdain for Dante and Virgil. What they've done is unacceptable, unforgivable, unconscionable... to him.

Johnny B.: "When... When you two numpty shitwits were going on and on about who knows what the fuck what... You fucking assholes... you neglected the one person who you should never... ever... ever... ever!... have ignored!"

His eyes suddenly open, wide as saucers, a figure-eight tempest of baleful defiance dancing from sclera to iris to pupil, permeating the cornea and lens and retina, welling inside the optical nerves, storming into the brain, and boiling it in the juices of revenge and retribution.

Johnny B.: "...No! Not Peyton, for fuck's sake! What's the matter with you?! I'm talking about me!!!"

He jumps up out of his seat and allows his thumbs to stress the point.

Johnny B.: "Me!!!!"

He kicks the chair into the darkness then runs after it, running back into the spotlight swinging it over his head, followed by smashing it into splinters in much the same way he did that poor defenseless easel.

Johnny B.: "You see what you made me do? You see what you made me do, Apocalypse?! Consider your careers in the MSW null and void when you step into the ring with Yugo Phailous and Yours Truly... The Pre-Millennium Wrestler... The Johnimant Species... King Shit on Fuck Mountain!!! We're taking you both on a trip back in time, where no Apocalypse can exist! We'll force your flesh and blood eyes to look into the dawn of all-creation: The Big Bang! Then, you'll bear witness to the Genesis: the furthest point from the Apocalypse there can be! You'll finally know remorse, but where's the mercy? Yugo and The Johnny ain't gonna show you no fuckin' mercy! And you'll finally know fear, but where're your mommies? Don't be lookin' at Yugo and me ta fit the bill, 'cuz we're just here to administer all the discipline with none of the nurturing. Come Unstoppable IX, you're done, son! You're both... done!!!"

And with that last word, the lights go out, the echoing of the spotlight switch the last thing you hear.

THE END.