Mending Fences

OOC Here is the rest of the Joint Development Piece between Matt Ward and Christine Nash.

After meeting with Christine at the diner for lunch, then having to rush to the emerald academy. Matt knew the talk wasn't done not by a long shot. So Matt drove to Christine place to see Christine so they can finish talking, When Matt pulled up to the house he remembered that the kids were not home and they were spending time with their aunt Sarah and uncle Jim. Matt parks the car as he walks up and ring the doorbell as he waits for Christine to open the door, a couple minutes past as Christine opened the door as Matt starts to speak.

♦Matt Ward♦ Look I know we didn't get much done while we are at the dinner, so that why I texted you to tell you I was coming over so we can talk, because I want you to be able to trust me again.

Matt looks at Christine as she starts to speak

♠Christine Nash♠ Yeah, so you say. But one you tell me to call Sarah when I sent the kids there so that was uncalled for... Besides... You're not my keeper, nor my boss.

She let's him in and they walk in the front room.

♠Christine Nash♠ Sense you're here... What do you want to drink?

♦Matt Ward♦ A soda will be fine Christine, thanks.

As Christine walks into the kitchen to get a soda for Matt as Matt goes and sit down on the couch, checking Twitter replying to his brother’s girlfriend tweet as he waits for Christine as he starts to speak.

♦Matt Ward♦ Has he tried getting in contact with you lately or has it died down?

She walks in with two sodas and hands one to Matt.

♠Christine Nash♠ He can't... I changed my number. Only reason you have it is because of the kids. That is why Sarah gave it out. But not many have it. So keep it hush hush.

She sits in a chair and curls up. She looks out the window and then at Matt.

♠Christine Nash♠ So... What?

♦Matt Ward♦ I am here for you to vent out your anger towards me, because that is something that you need to do.

Matt opens the bottle of soda as Christine starts to speak.

♠Christine Nash♠ Vent! I think you know by now how I feel. But if you must... Try betrayed, kicked when I was down, like a knife not only cut out my heart but stabbed me several times over. Yes... I have plenty of reasons to not only hate you but wish the worst for you. But I am not that mean... So all I can say is don't fuck up this one like you did with me.

She gets up and walks to the window not looking at him again.

♦Matt Ward♦ Ok I see, but answer me this, why are you afraid to look at me in the face, is it because you still have feelings for me but you are trying to let them go but you can’t let them go.

♠Christine Nash♠ No... Cause all I see is my pain when I look at you. I see someone I trusted more than anything that ripped me apart and threw away everything and didn't care what he left behind. You got pissed cause I said this was almost as bad as Jason if it went on any longer. No you didn't rape me... But it hurt as bad and left as bad if a scar that may never fully heal.

She looks at him.

♠Christine Nash♠ I am more scare that you will twist that knife more than any feeling of love for you. You killed that. You killed another piece of me. And be thankful Angel ain't here cause she wouldn't leave anything for your girl.

♦Matt Ward♦ How many damn times do I have to admit I was fucking wrong for hurting you? You don’t have to be scared about me twisting that knife because i could care less about that knife, that knife left my mind the day we were ended. But yet i still care what happens to you and the kids, is that because I'm a nice guy or is it because I still give a damn what happens to you? Answer me that Christine.

♠Christine Nash♠ I don't know... But you tell me to vent then scold me for my feelings. If that is what you want to do then you can leave. I will move out of the house you bought and leave. I don't need more shit Matthew.

♦Matt Ward♦ I’m not scolding you, I know it may look like that but it not. I am just confused that all. It not to make you pissed off, I want you and the kids to stay in the house, because I bought this for you and the kids to feel safe.

Matt looks at Christine as he starts to speak again

♦Matt Ward♦ I know you are almost to the verge of letting Angel out, I don’t want that to happen, I want you and me just to talk, I’m sorry if you feel like I scolded you for venting your feelings.

She started to breath heavily as she tried not to hyperventilate. She looked out the window again.

♠Christine Nash♠ I ain't the same Christine anymore. And you should know when I am hurt... I get dangerous. Not just in matches but to myself. Yes, I disappeared a while after you left. I didn't care if I died. I wasn't gonna eat or anything. I just called Simon and told him to come to the house. As soon as he pulled up... I ran. I ended up at that diner. That waitress I pointed out is the only reason I am alive and went back to the kids. You don't get what you did. Scotty hated you for the first month. He finally put it behind him when he started baseball.

She took a sip.

♠Christine Nash♠ Addy, she is young. She don't understand why one day you were there and then gone. She don't ask about you anymore. Scotty, he knows not to ask. He wants to protect me. But he will forgive easier than me. But you made your bed... You have your new life and family. So I hope you don't fuck it up like you did us and didn't care about.

She takes another sip looking out the window.

♦Matt Ward♦ You don’t think i didn't care after what i did? I told you at the restaurant that deep down inside of me still cared but the force of pain was too strong to overpower it to make things right then. I’m sorry that i walked out on scotty, it made sense when he wasn't talking to me at the baseball game or when you guys moved in. I need to talk to him to explain to him that i didn't mean to hurt you on purpose, it just looks that way. I know he hated me for a month because Jim told me, because when you dropped off the kids when the Jason thing happened i called Jim and Scott was next to him, i told him to let me talk to him. Jim said he didn't want to talk to me, I understood at that point that he hated me. I just need to make things right so we all can put this in the past so it doesn't have to creep back on us when we least expect it to.

Matt gets up to walk to the kitchen to throw away the soda as he puts his head down on the counter top as he sighs and breaths trying to not tearing up at the memories of him hurting Christine coming back into his mind. Christine turns around noticing Matt was not on the sofa. She looked like she sighed a relief as she then goes to sit down. She sips again before she hears something in the kitchen as she starts to speak.

♠Christine Nash♠ You OK in there? Don't want to get blamed for you getting hurt and have her go off on me again for you getting hurt. I think I had enough shit when she bitched me out for being bitter about this. No one understands and no one ever will. As you can see... I ain't shedding a tear. That is dead, that part of me is gone, Matt. I barely got myself functioning most days. I have to fight to get up. I have to fight to make myself train. Why won't I go to that gym... Why did I give you a cold shoulder when I first arrived? I think you know now. Years of pain and hurt created what you see. This... It was the icing on the cake. I don't know how you think you can fix it. But it wouldn't be something you would be proud about. You never thought about what you did. Not until you wanted something. Now you see what happened... What this caused. Yeah... I barely talk to Jim sometimes, and that is cause of Sarah. James... I don't cause of the history the three of us had. That hurts more than anything.

She looks down and takes a sip....Matt looks at Christine as he starts to speak.

♦Matt Ward♦ You think that you are causing how i feel right now, no the memories are coming back and they are the ones causing me to be like this. No you don’t have to worry about being blamed for me feeling like this because it is all on me. Christine you don’t know how much I hated myself for hurting you when we ended, no one knew because I didn't tell anyone until now because I knew no one would care to listen to what I had to say. You didn't know that did you Christine? I have beat myself up for hurting you and the kids, Yet I am admitting the wrongs that I have done to try and make things right between us. James tells me you hardly talk to him, Hell he has even offered to train you because he wants to help you, do you know I still want to help you get better in the ring even though I know you hate me?

Matt breaths as he wipes his eyes with his shirt as he starts to speak again.

♦Matt Ward♦ Christine that why I have been trying to get you to come to the Emerald Academy to train because I know you can improve while you are training there, you can be in Whisper mental class that she teaches at the academy, hell even Kim teaches submission based wrestling holds that you can add to your arsenal of moves. That why I want us to work things out so I can help you with your career even though we are not together that doesn't mean i still don’t care about you, I care about you as a friend that why I want to help you get better in the ring.

She shakes her head. She couldn't trust enough for that. Plus that means she would have get closer and she wasn't ready for that either. Sitting here talking to the one that hurt her was hard enough. She finished her soda and placed it on the table.

♠Christine Nash♠ No, I can’t. That is too much plus Kim don’t like me. I am surprised she let you off the leash long enough to come over here. No I have a trainer. I train with her when I can. I don’t think your little friends want your ex around that they hate cause of the shit that happened on Twitter. Oh and don’t worry. I won’t say anything else on Twitter so that your family don’t have to deal with me.

She gets up and walks to the computer table and looks at a picture of her with the kids. She knew they were the one thing keeping her grounded. She also knew that she was trying to rebuild her life starting with her relationship with Leo. That was something she hoped was going to grow and be strong. But even that scared her right now. She was afraid to get hurt again and what that effect would have on her. She put the picture down and looked towards Matt in the kitchen.

♠Christine Nash♠ You asked if I knew, you didn't tell anyone. How would I… you closed us out. You pushed us away and didn't look back. Now all of the sudden you come and say you care. And there is nothing left here to care about because you killed it. You want to be friends… Yeah… that will take time. How much? I don’t know. I told you… this is deep and this is painful. Trust is broken and that is something that isn't easy to get back. Hell, your girl already killed any trust I would have for her for the shit she said on Twitter. So yeah… you do what you think you need to do, but I am not going to guarantee nothing. I have nothing riding on this. I have nothing left to hurt anymore cause it is dead. But no… I am not going to go somewhere where I have to be humiliated for the fact I am hurt and in pain. Sorry.

♦Matt Ward♦ I know a way I can start by earning your trust. Have me babysit Scotty and Addy when you need a night alone or you have a date with Leo, Because I am going to be having the kids come down so you know they are going to want to see them. That way it shows to you that I am making an effort to prove to you that this is serious to me. I know I pushed you guys away, hell I even pushed my family away at a point in time after that happened, I went into a dark place, that I don’t want to be in again ever in my life. During that time when I was shut off from you, the kids, and the family, I was hating myself for what i have done to you. Trying to make myself realize that the pain that I done was big enough that I would regret it down the road. Not even five minutes later I called my brother and told him to get me from where I was, then I tried calling you but you changed your number and I told Sarah to try to talk to you to tell you that I needed to talk to you so we could have talk things out. But I guess that when you were when you were shut off from the world.

Matt looks at Christine as he starts to speak

♦Matt Ward♦ How do you know Kim hates you? Just because of the altercation you had on twitter? That why I said you two need to talk in person, because I’m sure that you two will find out that you two have more in common then you realize. So please take my advice and we can take the kids to the park, and you can talk to Kim in person so you can find out for yourself if she hates you, I can play with the kids while you two are talking.

Matt wipes his face as he looks at Christine as she starts to speak.

♠Christine Nash♠ I will keep that in mind. As for talking to Kim… we’ll see. I will be getting them tomorrow. Scotty has a birthday party at 1 then maybe after it. That is if you two are not busy. I am not going to play games Matt. I am not going to hold back and I swear… one thing happens, one thing and I take the kids and leave. Do you understand?

Matt nods as he starts to speak
♦Matt Ward♦ I understand perfectly clear, I don’t think we have nothing planned because there won’t be no students at the academy tomorrow, so we will be free, I know you are not going to play games, neither am I. That is why I want the both of you to talk so there won’t be no hostility between us.

♠Christine Nash♠ I can’t promise anything will change. You might be standing there crying cause of all this. But I can’t. Yes… I told you I am bitter. This happens after a while. And I am sure when you tried to call back then, Sarah told you she had no idea where I was. Yeah I was gone for quite a while. Yeah I had to deal with Scotty when I returned. But he forgave me. Yeah I am mad cause I left them. But I wasn’t in any place to take care of them. I really still am not. But I have to put that behind me for them. I have to be a mom first even before my career. Leo met the kids and they like him and he likes them.

She walks over and picks up the bottle and goes to the kitchen walking past Matt without even looking at him. She then walks to a corner in the kitchen staring at him.

♠Christine Nash♠ So is that all you want? Just to agree to meet again so that I can talk to the future Ward? So I can see the one you move on to? I hope this makes you happy. I hope this eases things for you cause so far… nothing has changed for me.

♦Matt Ward♦ I know I am making things hard for you, I understand that. I just hope after this talk with you and Kim, that things can start to try to get back to some normalcy for the both of us, I am glad the kids like Leo and Leo likes the kids, hell you are a way better then Liz Smalls, So you won’t have to worry about him hurting you because he was hurt by her. Because I can see it in your eyes that is the one thing that you are scared of is that there's a chance that he can hurt you, and you don’t know how you are going to react to it. So I think I should get going because I don’t know if you and Leo have plans tonight, so I will see you tomorrow after the party.

Matt looks at Christine as she starts to speak.

♠Christine Nash♠ We don’t. He has been away a little more than home right now. But that is ok. I know he is trying to do what he needs to for him. He knows I will not ask him for anything and I don’t want anything from him like Liz. I am not pushing myself on him. I am giving him space and I am letting him decide when he is ready. But Yes, I am sure you're on a time crunch because of her. So I will text you when his party is over.

She watched as Matt heads to the door and follows.

♠Christine Nash♠ I guess this hasn't been that bad of a talk. I don’t know if it helped you any. Didn't do much to me other than tell you what I feel and how I hurt. If it made you feel guilty… then I guess that is your hang up. I am just saying things how I see it and how I feel. So have a good night and I hope you don’t miss curfew.

She shuts the door as soon as he walks out as she took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She looked out the window and saw he was still standing there a moment before he walked to his car. She locked the door as she then started to cry letting out the pain she pinned up from the panic attack. She then walks back to her chair, curls up with a blanket and tries to calm down. While Matt was walking back to the car he couldn't stop and laugh that the comment about curfew, little does Christine know that Matt hasn't been to church since they split from each other. Matt gets into the car as he turns the car on as God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton begins to play as Matt starts to drive back to his place thinking about Kim, and how things are going to be tomorrow.